Here it is Saturday afternoon. I am having a difficult day today after a full week back at school. Barely, I made it out of bed about 10 a.m. I didn’t want to get up, but I was so sore all over in my muscles and joints that laying around wasn’t helping. Getting up didn’t help as much as I had hoped. My huge plan for day today includes a nice, steamy epsom salt bath. Ahhhh.
Dealing with alone time is something someone with Lyme has to deal with very quickly. I feel lucky that by nature, I am an introvert. I relish time alone. I am never bored. Seriously never, unless it is a really boring professional development or a meeting with no purpose, then, yes, boredom sets in. If only I was a good doodler! Otherwise, I can sit for hours, reading, writing, thinking, with no one about to interact with. Thus, I had an advantage starting on this unexpected journey with Lyme. I do get lonely sometimes, and of course, I do miss out on cool events due to poor health off and on. That is tough. But at least, as an introvert, I feel like I haven’t had as hard of a time seguing into spending lots of time alone.
Extroverts must have a much harder time. I mean, they access their energy by being with other people. Extroverts are social by nature and having Lyme puts a Huge Dent in social activities for sure. Lyme takes over minute details of one’s life no matter how hard we try to keep it at bay. For instance, we made plan with friends last weekend to meet up for dinner last Saturday night. Literally, Friday mid morning, I felt confident that I could make it to dinner the next day. I mean I had all Saturday to recoup, right? Best laid plans and Lyme comes along and laughs in my face! Saturday was no bueno. I had stomach issues all day long, including cramping and nausea. I tried some hopeful remedies, but no luck. We had to cancel and stay at home. Disappointed, and helpless to change the facts that I could not make it to dinner out, my husband and I stayed in and watched tv. This scenario is an all too familiar one at this point. After 18 months in treatment and before that, 4 years sick with no idea what was going on, I am still trying to accept that many times, I have to cancel plans. I hate to disappoint anyone, including myself and so I am still working on this hurdle.
Being sick and dealing with different symptoms day to day, hour to hour, I live more of an internal life, as do most Lyme sufferers I guess. But I especially feel for my fellows who deal with Lyme and who are extroverts.
Peace – B