I just wanted a few days….

First off, I hope everyone had an enjoyable Christmas and that it wasn’t too stressful. Ours was quiet, more quite than usual. Our winter break started Saturday, December 20th, and I had been counting the hours. Not that I dislike my job at all; I was just looking forward to the uninterrupted and unscheduled – mostly – time until returning on January 6th. The past few weeks leading up to the breAk had been wrought with both personal and work drama. More work drama than anything.

The weekend was good and then Monday and Tuesday, I was feeling the best I have felt in months! I had energy, and I was working through my lists at a nice speed! 😁 I thought I was being careful and not pushing it to hard. It was exciting. Then, bam. Party over, sucker! I woke up Christmas Eve with a sore throat, and, well, it’s been all downhill from there. While I was able to cook a turkey that day get all of the gifts wrapped, and although we had a nice romantic dinner, I felt like hell. Christmas day was worse. I literally was in bed all day. Missing a trip to visit and dinner with the wonderful in-laws, I stayed in bed and pondered my life.

I’ve really been trying to be more accepting of my situation and more accepting of my physical limitations, which can change at any given moment as I am sure many of you have experienced. My initial reactions have been to become really upset and disappointed which then leads to stress, then to sadness and depression. The 4 S slope as I have coined it! The stressful, self-indulgent, sad, slippery slope!  Down, down, down.

But what I am beginning to realize is that that kind of behaviour sets me back. Making myself go through that rollercoaster changes nothing. I still do not have the energy or I am too sick to attend an event, dinner, baby shower, whatever. It also leaves me much worse off physically and mentally. I need to change my “stinking thinking” as they say in AA.

So, yes, it was indeed disappointing that I could not go to celebrate  Christmas at my in-laws as planned. I wanted to spend time with them. Instead, I had a little chat with myself assessing how I felt and thinking and saying, “It will be best for me to stay home today. Between the Lyme and cold infection, I have no business running around today, and that is ok!” While this seems like such a little thing to do, I guess it psychologically gave me permission to stay home without

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feeling guilty. My in-laws were gracious as always, but the best thing for me was the kindness I showed myself. I need to practice this much, much more!

While I still have a cold, I am wishing for a speedy recovery so I can still enjoy the rest of our break. How was your Christmas? Anything you would like to share about dealing with Lyme during the holidays?

Wishing you peace and lots of joy – B

7 thoughts on “I just wanted a few days….

  1. flowingthroughthefight December 30, 2014 / 6:07 pm

    We had a nice quiet Christmas. Did mass on Christmas Eve and stayed in PJs all day on a Christmas Day. This season has all been about balance. I had to miss one party due to a migraine and another we chose to skip so I could rest for zoo lights the next day. Learning my limitations but how to make adaptations to live as best I can. Hope you feel better soon.

    Liked by 1 person

    • readbetweenthelyme December 30, 2014 / 6:39 pm

      Oh, your Christmas sounds like it was wonderful! How was the zoo? Unfortunately, I am still dealing with a nice hacking cough but I think it’s moving on. My niece is coming today and we will do just a little family NYE party. Happy New Year!

      Like

      • flowingthroughthefight January 1, 2015 / 1:41 am

        The zoo was so fun, i thinkthe lights made me a little woozy after apg car ride but so worth it!

        Like

  2. The Person Next to You December 31, 2014 / 1:16 am

    We moved across country this year, so we did not have anyone to spend the holidays with. In a way this was a blessing, because we all suffer with Lyme, and being able to stay home in PJs watching movies was the most relaxation we have had in ages. I have been experiencing Bartonella belly, so can hardly eat anything, so even better to stay home.

    I am glad you were good to yourself. Happy New Year to you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • readbetweenthelyme December 31, 2014 / 3:32 am

      Hi there! So your family has Lyme as well? I can’t imagine the challenges you all face daily. It sounds like you had a perfect Christmas in a way. 🙂 I hope all of you are getting some much needed rest!

      Like

      • The Person Next to You December 31, 2014 / 3:38 am

        Yes. All 3 of us. We are in various stages of treatment, so we are usually able to help each other pretty well if one of us is having bad times.

        Happy New Year!

        Like

      • readbetweenthelyme December 31, 2014 / 4:03 am

        Ugh! You all are lucky to have one another though. Happy New Year to you all as well!

        Liked by 1 person

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