Agitation and Frustration

Hi out there! I sincerely don’t remember when I last posted so just in case, Happy New Year! I was sick through the holidays, and I finally kicked the crud after 3 weeks, a shot of antibiotics in the butt, and some more oral antibiotics. So, it is back to dealing with Lyme only which is a good thing in a way.

I wasn’t going to write today because I haven’t been doing well emotionally this past week, and I don’t really know how to explain it as I am also having difficulty with word recall and with just plain old thinking and processing, but here it goes. This past week, I have been experiencing a lot of agitating and frustrating feelings/thoughts. I think it is caused by stress on top of my limitations to process said stress. Multitasking is just a bad joke on me with my cognitive skills impeded. For the most part, I can manage, but I’m not sure what happened this week. One day, I felt like I was in an agitated and stressed mode all day long to the point that by the end of the day, it felt like it had amped up and turned into significant anger. Anger at what, who knows? I just felt very aggressive, and this is not me. I could not rid myself of the feeling. The thought of feeling insane crossed my mind. It finally went away hours later.

It happened again yesterday morning as my husband and I cleaned the house. We were working and talking about any and everything and I just started feeling the agitation building up. It is really a different feeling than feeling overwhelmed. When I feel overwhelmed, I feel like getting under the covers and staying there for a month. I don’t feel angry; I feel defeated. But this is much different. My mind starts racing a mile a minute and yet, I can’t think fluently. I try to express myself but nothing comes out the way I am thinking it will. Then, as if to add to the pile of thoughts, my brain starts honing in on things like I need to pay bills, how will I make it through the work week, how can I get my grading done with my brain in jumbles, what meals will we need for the week and how will I get to the store? It all starts tumbling around in my head and then my mouth starts moving but in no way am I articulate. Finally, it feels like everything speeds up, and I can’t stop it.

I tell you that this is a new thing. I am wondering, is this a new symptom of the chronic Lyme? My husband agrees and says it is new as well. I really don’t like it at all (not that anyone would) because I start feeling out of control, and I am not sure how to make the OCD thoughts and the agitation stop. Does anyone experience this or something like it as well? And if so, what kinds of things do you do to cope? Yesterday, I went outside and tried to do some breathing exercises. It did help for a bit but it was still kinda scary. Even at this point, my brain feels like it is gearing up now and just thinking is becoming tiresome and yet, stressful!

I sincerely would appreciate ( insert NEED) some feedback and suggestions. Thank you! I hope your week has been a good one! -B

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6 thoughts on “Agitation and Frustration

    • readbetweenthelyme January 25, 2015 / 7:45 pm

      Yes. Definitely more stress. I just haven’t felt this level of agitation before.

      Like

  1. The Person Next to You January 25, 2015 / 9:25 pm

    Well, it was New Moon on Tuesday. Do you keep a symptom log? I do. I have a blank calendar page for each month, and I note “different” days or symptoms that flare. I have been able to figure out that on New Moon and Full Moon my symptoms are particularly bad. Agitation, exhaustion, headaches, and general aches and pains are always worse. I have learned to step up detox protocols and go to bed a bit earlier to try to head it off.

    Like

    • readbetweenthelyme January 26, 2015 / 2:12 am

      You know, I think of doing this often and then I don’t follow through. But just today, I was thinking I felt this way around Christmas. A month ago. So thank you for your suggestion. I am starting tomorrow! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. immerse June 3, 2015 / 4:44 am

    I do not know whether it’s just me or if perhaps everyone else experiencing issues with your blog.
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    Like

    • readbetweenthelyme June 11, 2015 / 2:33 pm

      Hi there. I haven’t had an issue so far. I hope it’s working better for you now.

      Like

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