Apologies

Hi all. This may not be a positive post so I understand if you have to skip it. I’m struggling. There is no other way to state the fact. It’s been really tough since the New Year when I contracted a cold/upper respiratory infection. After three weeks of all that stuff, then it’s that time of the month, followed by the full moon, and here we are.

Last Sunday through this past Thursday was like a challenge course. Hip pain, lower back pain and headaches plagued me all week long. I attributed some of it to the full moon on Monday, but who knows? I have also been on Stephen Buhner’s suggested herbal protocol for Lyme for about 3 weeks now as well. Then yesterday, I actually felt fairly decent!

What a terrible trick though. I started the day positive, without much pain at all which I realized made my brain work better. So I felt like I was a super ninja most of the day. Until about 3 p.m. Then, the storm clouds rolled in.

My head began to ache accompanied by nausea. I took a pain pill. Nada. The headache laughed in my face. Headed home, took some alka selzer gold, slapped on my eye cover and proceeded to lay in bed until about 7:15. The pain dulled a bit, but I could tell it was still lurking in the shadows…..

I was supposed to work this morning. With my team. I had planned to do this for months. But the headache came back with a vengeance about 5 a.m. this morning. One huge apology sent out to my team leader about how I could not make it today. I was so disappointed with myself. I continue to stack up all of the things I plan and then cannot follow through on.

But, I thought I would still be able to make it to dinner with our friends this evening. Well, I’m sure you can guess the outcome of this drama. I had a few decent hours. Until about 3 p.m. When I told my husband I couldn’t make go tonight, he was understandably upset. Then I got upset. I’m just so very tired of apologizing to everyone for everything. I’m tired of making plans and then canceling. I’m tired of not being able to hold up my end of any bargain.

I love my husband, my friends, and my work. I don’t want to let anyone down and yet, I feel like today was a trifecta. And I am sorry this post is so negative.

Thinking of you all – B

#readbetweenthelyme

3 thoughts on “Apologies

  1. The Person Next to You February 23, 2015 / 3:45 am

    Yes, I feel like there have been many many times I have had to apologize for not being able to go to something that I had RSVPd yes to. It was even harder before we knew what was wrong with me… at least now we know WHY. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

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