Talk About Zombies

The fatigue is back, and it is taking absolutely no prisoners. If you recall, my LLMD had me take a break from the antibiotics for about 7-8 weeks, recently. I’m really not sure why except that I could use one after 27 months on abx. For the first 3-4 weeks, all was good. Headaches let up, nausea was less. I was hopeful. Then at the beginning of September, I caught a cold. Pretty much all hell broke lose.

I had the cold a solid week. Then I still had sinus, coughing, lingering everything. And the Zombie fatigue came on, full throttle. Ah, the misery! And the achy joints and just body aches. I was convinced also that the EBV was activated again with the fatigue being so terrible. It took everything I had to get to work, and then back to bed every day. I spent the weekends in bed. When I get into my doctor at the end of the month, she said upper respiratory infection caught me. Let’s check for the EBV. I assumed, and I had a list – that we would also check Lyme, Mycoplasma, HHV-6, thyroid, etc. since I told her I was having such severe fatigue. But,nope. EBV came back quiet, and she had actually tested for nothing else. And my follow-up? Yeah, in December. December?!?! Frustrated, I emailed my doctor about my concerns, and now I am going back in a couple of weeks. I’m not sure what will be different this time around, but it’s worth a shot. My doctor did not have a suggestion for the fatigue other than she still thinks it is caused by Lyme. Honestly, I don’t know. When I was at my sickest, right before being diagnosed, I did have this kind of fatigue so it is very plausible. I just worry that now that I have been dealing with the Lyme for so long, is something else rearing its ugly head?

In about 3 weeks, I am actually also going to see a new LLMD. I have been scouting about for someone else to add to the “team.” I love my doc, but I feel like we never have enough time to address all the issues I am having. Lyme is so complex once it is in the chronic stage, and she really just doesn’t have time for the treatment I need right now. I am hoping this new doctor works out; I will still see my LLMD here as well. The new doctor is about 5 hours away so it’s not like I can jump in a car and go see her anytime I want to. I have heard she likes to try to treat Lyme as a whole rather than in pieces. FIngers and toes are crossed that she can help me out.

But this fatigue needs to go! I’m taking iron and vitamin B hoping that helps some. We were supposed to go out of town this long weekend, but I actually got really sick Friday afternoon, and we couldn’t, or rather I, couldn’t manage the trip. It was disappointing. My husband and I were looking forward to going to the beach and getting out of the house. Instead, I was in bed Friday afternoon through yesterday mid-morning. I think I may have actually had the flu on top of the Lyme issues. I’m feeling a little more like myself today.

I’ve never experienced fatigue like the Lyme fatigue that comes on. When I used to say, “I’m tired” I meant that I had worn myself out doing most likely something physical. But once rested, I was back to it, taking my energy for granted. Now, I never feel rested. I sleep, I rest, I don’t do much, and I still feel so exhausted; it is a chore to think about getting up to brush my teeth. The fatigue just adds to the memory issues and the brain fog. Sometimes, I just want to lie in bed, in the dark, with no sensory anything because sometimes this is the only way I can think straight. Does anyone else need to do this? Just go somewhere quiet and lay down?

I know it is overused, but this fatigue really does make me feel like a zombie. I seem to move in and out of each day half-awake, in a weird trance. It’s hard to explain. Outside of work is difficult enough but I can lay down whenever I want. Work is a whole other challenge. I just try not to think about getting through the week ahead but instead focus on getting through the day. This strategy helps I think. And no matter how much I rest each day, by the next day, the fatigue is compounded. But I want to work. I want to do things. I don’t want to be a Zombie. None of use do!

Happy fall, peeps – B

Fall in the mountains

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