Month: November 2015

new normal, The Present

Warm, Warm, Cold!

It was 80 degrees here yesterday, a/c on, hair frizzies and such abounded. Today? Why, it is 46 degrees! Getting up was tough. It was a 3 hour process. We woke up at 5 a.m. Hub’s alarm went off; he was taking the kids to an outside event today. I had to give one of my dog’s his medicine. I switched the a/c to heat and then jumped back into bed and turned on the electric blanket. AAH. But lights were on, and activity was happening, the dogs were restless. Almost falling back to sleep, Boo woke me up trying to play. About 6 a.m., I gave in and got up, made coffee, crawled back into bed and watched a little Netflix with the free tv juice (satellite) until 8 a.m. I just couldn’t coax myself out of the cozy, warm bed.

Everything is sore for the most part. It’s the damp that is getting me. When the front came in last night it rained, the damp sleathly crept into the stillness of my bones. Hips, lower back, ankles….these are the places the cold likes to settle. My BFF in the winter is a heating pad. I seriously have about 5 of them pretty much everywhere! School, couch, bed, office chair. I really need to get a heated car seat! Maybe Santa can check that out for me.

It’s been a good week. I’ve done more this week than I have in the past 2 months, or at least it feels that way. For the most part, my energy has been decent, and my mood has been a positive one. One thing I have realized this break is that I’ve become overly cautious. What I mean is this: I never know how I will feel after doing something out of the ordinary in my daily routine, whether that is an extra hour at work, taking on a project, going out to dinner, etc. With this in mind, I go about my every day doing the known routine and scared to do anything outside of this routine because I don’t know what the result will be. I know this sounds a little crazy, and it kind of is, but my worry is that if I break my regular routine and overdo, I may be paying for it longer that I want to or can afford to financially and otherwise. So, I err on the side of doing less.

The result of playing it ultra safe has been that I have sacrificed some of myself and my relationships with others. It is true. And this does hurt. It’s just really hard to figure out a balance as far as my energy tank  is concerned so there isn’t a terrible backlash. I’m not sure how to navigate this new found obstacle I am now aware of.

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In perspective though, I am grateful that I have energy to worry about doling out.  This is a definite sign of improvement and I’ll take it. Any tricks or tips you can share about managing your energy account?

I hope you all have had a good, pain free week. Until next time, stay frosty – B

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new normal, The Present

My Life is Fleeting One

Hello people, it’s been a long while. And as we all say, so much has happened and yet nothing at all has happened. First, maybe, is that indeed, I have made it to Thanksgiving break at work. This is a huge hurdle for me, and I am very grateful to have cleared it, circa 2015, with all limbs intact. There were about 3 weeks there in late September that I honestly thought I would not be able to make it, and I would have to take a medical leave; I was really worried that I was getting worse. Then, things turned around, albeit slowly. I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that living with a chronic disease, things can change on a dime and they do. Although I am not a fan of this at all, accepting this as a reality has been somewhat helpful along my journey into the unknown.

Seeing another doctor has also happened. We made a 3-4 hour trip from home to the new doctor’s office a few weeks ago. The visit was a long one in which I talked too much, my husband reported to me afterwards, and we left with a few bottles of tinctures. Personally, I like this doctor, the approach to treating Lyme through more integrated and functional medicine, the way the doctor listened and validated mine and my husband’s experiences over the past 2 and a half years of treatment. I have stopped the abx and switched over to the herbal drops. The goal is to get to 25 drops 2 times daily. Right now, I’m struggling with 5 drops 2 times a day. I can do 4 and make it alright. But the past couple of days when I tried to get to the level 5, by about 4 p.m. I am herxing big time. I also have detox drops for the herxing, and I have added those as needed, but wow, there is s distinct difference, at least for my body, between the 4 – 5 drops. We are working on it. 🙂

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving! This break I’ve been able to do a few things I normally can’t / don’t do while working such as, and don’t laugh: grocery shopping, house cleaning, pie baking, dinner out, laundry – lots! While most of these things are not huge in any way, I have just not had the energy to do them much while working. And I actually did some simple Christmas decorating! It really has been pretty awesome getting to do these things without feeling so fatigued and overwhelmed. While several of these afternoons and evenings I have been in bed with nausea and headaches, I still feel like I’ve had some of the best days I’ve had in a very long time. I know I have pushed myself a little much, and I’ve eaten several slices of pie, pumpkin and apple, so my sugar intake is in the red, but it’s all been worth it! I feel like I have been partying it up, people!

Best wishes to you and to yours, -B

First Aid Kit

P.S. The above band is worth checking out. This song, “Fleeting One” is stuck in my head. Enjoy!