Tell it Like it Is

Well, my people, it is Sunday afternoon. I’m really happy I survived this past week. I hope all of you did too. I am feeling much better today. Thank you all for your support. Today, I was pretty productive if I do say so myself! After a week of being too sick to do anything besides lay in bed, I was up and fairly active today. And no nausea! Which makes this day even better. Since I was way behind on grading, I told myself that if I could knock that out, I could come and write here. It was a great incentive!

I’ve been thinking a lot about this blog, and its focus. Yes, the focus is on Lyme disease and more specifically, my own personal experiences with treating and living with this disease. Over this past month, I have run into some people on social media and people in in my day to day life who also deal with a chronic illness and that, for the most part, has been a wonderful way to connect. However, it has also made me reflect on my decision to begin telling others about my illness. Coming out of the closet, so to speak, about having Chronic Lyme disease.

When I was first diagnosed with Lyme disease, I told my immediate family and my boss. In the beginning, while I knew I would have to treat for awhile since I had been sick off and on for about 3 years before the diagnosis, I had no idea that this might be a chronic illness for me. And, as I was so very sick back in 2013 when I found out finally what was going on, I thought it only prudent and honest to explain what was going on to my boss. The support was overwhelming. I also shared with a few colleagues who are dear to me. Otherwise, no one else knew, and I was happy to keep it that way. In my head, I felt that telling other people was a burden to them. It almost felt like by telling them, I was making excuses about why I couldn’t keep doing everything I had been doing. Being sick, to me, was a sign of weakness. Not that I thought that about other people. That only applied to me. Always the perfectionist, I am way harder on myself then on others (although I am sure my students would beg to differ!).

This strategy, the one of silence and limited sharing about my health, worked for a bit. Well, almost 2 years. And while I did make progress in treatment, I just could not continue with all of the responsibilities I had at work. I was in a leadership position and a club sponsor. These along with teaching 5 upper level junior/senior classes every day. I just had to make changes and move some things off of my plate so I could focus on improving my quality of life. This treatment thing was taking much more time than I had anticipated. Making the decision to no longer sponsor the club I had started back in 2008 and then also stepping down as a leader, these were tough, tough decisions. I struggled with feeling less than, incompetent, weak…oh, the list goes on. Reorganizing my priorities was a challenge. But I knew that I did not want to end up sacrificing my work by becoming more ill or vice versa. Something had to give.


Taking the bull by the horns, I relieved myself as club sponsor and my leadership position at the end of last school year. But in order to do this, more people were going to have to know the reasons why I was making this decision. Uncomfortable to say the very least, at least for me. I’m not big on sharing private things unless it is with close friends. In order to move on though, I did indeed share the basics about my health issues with my colleagues and my boss. I am chronically ill at this point, I have good times and then I have some really bad times, such as this past week, and I cannot make it to work. Communicating with others what was/is happening to me has become a huge relief.

Looking back, I honestly can say that I wish I had done so earlier on. Being more open and honest about my health has actually led to some great conversations with others. It has humbled me in ways I never knew. The kindness and understanding people have is truly amazing. Do I still have days where I feel like a burden? I sure do. But opening up has been a truly important step for my recovery, I believe. Thank you all for joining me on this journey!

Have a great week! -b


Nobody Said it was Going to be Easy

TGIF! Wow. What a week. I really hope yours was better than mine. As I have mentioned in some of my previous posts Turbulence of Lyme SymptomsFire in the Hole, and Derailed, there is a lot of inconsistency in how Lyme will manifest itself each and every day. There are some things, in my case, that stay pretty constant such as daily headaches, joint pain, and fatigue. But then there are those other issues that crop up from time to time, I guess maybe they are flares?, and it is impossible to prepare. What’s the saying, the devil is in the details?


And so last Sunday, I started having severe nausea. It lasted the entire day. I couldn’t eat, sleep or do anything. I just laid in bed, trying not to move around. The moving made the nausea worse. Indeed, it was a day where I just wished I could get out of my body for even like 10 minutes to get some relief. I chalked it up to eating some jalapeno sausage that morning; I knew I shouldn’t have eaten it but it was delish but soooo not worth it.

Unfortunately, no. The illicit sausage was not the problem. On Monday, when I tried to get up to get myself ready for work, I felt really nauseated. Then, the headache joined in. There was no way I could make it to work, let alone teach all day. Monday and Tuesday were more of the same. In the meantime, I was trying desperately to get into my Lyme doctor (LLMD) but there were no appointments available- for the entire week. Whaa? They were very clear that they could NOT fit me in even if I came in when they opened and waited. When I explained again my symptoms, the front desk told me that a nurse would return my call that afternoon. That was Tuesday. By Wednesday evening, no one had called me. Although I was able to get up and go to work on Wednesday, by that afternoon the nausea was back rearing its ugly head. Now, please do not think that I have an entitlement issue. I realize doctors are extremely busy and overbooked. I realize that there are other patients out there who also need to get in for a visit.

On the flip side though, this is my doctor who is treating me for Lyme disease. I can’t just go “anywhere” to get treatment. Other doctors, and almost all here in the South, are not trained on Lyme nor do they actually believe it exists here in Texas. This is the state of the medical options we have for Lyme here and in way too many other places in the US. In fact, Lyme is endemic to Texas. Check out this research done by Texas A & M University “Lyme Endemic to Texas.” Thus, going to another doctor is really more of a waste of time than anything. The ER was an option if I started having other issues, but mostly it was the severe nausea that was the new thing. All of my other symptoms are dealt with in the daily grind; they ebb and flow. But the nausea. God, it was (is) the worst.

It feels like I need to throw up (sorry TMI!) but I can’t. That kind of nausea. No vomiting though. I tried to stay very hydrated. I tried eating Saltines off and on. Yet, about 30 minutes after eating or drinking tea or Sprite, hello tummy monster! Anyway, I emailed my doctor, and I was able to get in yesterday afternoon. Supposedly, I have a virus. I say supposedly because honestly, I think it is more Lyme related than anything else. But I took what I could get which at this point was to get some sort of relief from this symptom. I was prescribed Tamiflu and anti-nausea meds and told to come back next week if it was still going on. Today was better because of the anti-nausea meds, but I’m still having experiencing the nausea.

This is how the Lyme bacteria works. It is a very stealthy and intelligent. According to, “Lyme disease is caused by a spirochete—a corkscrew-shaped bacterium called Borrelia burgdorferi. If not treated as soon as infected, then the chances of it reproducing and getting into every system of one’s body is extremely probable. Now granted, not everything can be attributed to Lyme. But for me, most of the time, my symptoms are directly related to Lyme disease.

Again, I hope you all had a much better weekly journey than I did. Take care – B




New Symptom, Or…?

Lyme disease affects each person in a variety of ways. It manifests itself differently and thus, this makes it even harder to diagnose correctly and treat correctly. Lyme disease is frequently called the great imitator. In many cases, Lyme is misdiagnosed as Lupus, MS, CFS, and FMS, along with several other illnesses.

For me, when I was so very sick, some of my more prevalent symptoms included neck pain, daily headaches, severe fatigue, joint pain, sleep disturbances, lower back pain, and nausea. I also had severe brain fog, memory issues, and neuropathy in both feet ranging up to my knees. During the course of treatment, some of these symptoms have subsided. But there sometimes are symptoms that I never had that will just randomly crop up. And I’m like, hey what’s up? Where have you been all of my life? Not.

Joint pain seems to migrate around. While my right hip was constantly in pain for, well, I don’t know, maybe the first year before and then after diagnosis? But then, for awhile in the spring of 2014 my right wrist would hurt off and on. It continued like that for about 3 months and then, bam, it was gone. My ankles sometimes will ache so badly. I bought these crazy ankle wraps at CVS. The inserts can be heated then you wrap the big, chunky, bright blue wraps around each ankle. It helps but there’s no way to wear these at work. Anyway, surely the fashion policy would stop me! I’ve taken to keeping several sizes of the analgesic patches everywhere. These work for the short term so at least they provide a bit of relief. I’ve never had knee issues which is interesting as this seems to be a classic symptom of people with Lyme or so the CDC says.

And then lately, my left elbow and now forearm is hurting. It started in my elbow in early November. It’s an achy and sore kind of pain. I figured it would be gone by now, but it actually these past few days seems to be getting worse. The pain is now also in my forearm. Heat helps. I’m not even left-handed. I’ve been putting off dealing with it; however, it is really is hurting almost constantly now. When I see my doctor next week, hopefully, she can help me out. Or at the very least rule out other possibilities besides Lyme.

It’s always a big surprise with Lyme! Never a dull moment! At least the daily hip pain, and the neck pain is pretty much gone now. I’m just glad that not everything hurts at the same time. When that happens, life just plain out sucks.

I hope everyone is having a good weekend, and I hope all my peeps up North are safe, snug, and warm. Cheers -b


8 Thoughts Of Someone Who Is Always Sick

Read my mind!

Rosie Culture

1.You forget what it’s like to be normal

Sick is normal, right?

2. You’ve basically become BFF’s with the doctor’s office.

Stick a needle in my arm and cure me, doc.

3. When you call your mom to tell her you’re sick, she doesn’t really care

“Again???? What do you want me to do about it???”

4. You cancel on plans constantly

My friends probably think I’m just using “I’m sick” as an excuse.

5. You’re constantly questioning if you’re sick or tired.

Is this a cold? Or allergies? Or am I tired? Or drunk?

6. When you do figure out you’re getting sick, you take drastic measures to stop it in it’s tracks.

*lays in bed for 20 hours, chugs orange juice, gargles salt water*

7. You begin to question if you’re actually dying.

WebMD says my cold symptoms could be because of cancer!!!

8. You get better….but not…

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Meet and Greet Weekend @ DBDO: 1/15/16

Join our blogging community! 😊

Dream Big, Dream Often


It’s the Meet and Greet weekend at Dream Big!!  I hope everyone’s January is off to a great start!

Ok so here are the rules:

  1. Leave a link to your page or post in the comments of this post.
  2. Reblog this post.  It helps you, it helps me, it helps everyone!  So don’t be selfish, hit the reblog button.
  3. Edit your reblog post and add tags.
  4. Share this post on social media.  Many of my non-blogger friends love that I put the Meet n Greet on Facebook and Twitter because they find new blogs to follow.

Now that all the rules have been clearly explained get out there and Meet n Greet your butts off!

See ya on Monday!!

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