Totally sad, but true. Since Saturday, not much has changed. My bed is my Bestie. I don’t even know how many hours I’ve spent in bed feeling not so bueno. Yesterday was more of sleeping, a few loads of laundry, reading, resting. I did manage to get out of the house, only because I had to, and so I drove around a bit near here and took some pictures. It was the Big Event this weekend, at least for moi.
This time of year it the most beautiful to me. I think it has to do with the crystal blue expansive skies, the golden colors mixed with grey and brown. It’s cold. But not the tepid cold. More of a biting cold. The kind of cold that makes your eyes sting. No wind though. Just pure perfection. The beaches are also my favorite this time of year. The ocean stirs no matter what is happening on shore. And empty, the beaches are empty of people which is total bliss. Only the birds and the sea creatures are scurrying around. Hearing the waves lap, the seagulls squabble, feeling the rigid breeze is all inspiring.
But I didn’t go to the beach. The nearest one is about an hour plus away not even considering traffic, and hey, I can barely make it to the front door. No can do. This morning was just more of the same. Headache, stomachache, body pain. My alarm screamed at 5 a.m. and so did all of my body. This Monday was so not happening.
It’s disappointing to feel terrible enough that I have to take a sick day. I know that is what they are for, but in the past, I would take a sick day and then feel better. Now, I take a sick day and just pray I can handle the rest of the week, whether that is 4 more days or just one. It’s frustrating. What did I do today? I ran the dishwasher, did a load of laundry, and walked out to get the mail. Otherwise, I spent the rest of the day in bed with my BFF. We snoozed, watched some t.v. and did a smidge of reading. Sounds delightful to many I’m sure. But all the while, the Lyme played in the background, the pounding headache, the sore joints, the brain fog, and the stomach issues. Constantly moving to escape the pain if on one side too long, I have 2 heating pads going. I thought about adding a 3rd but that is a little excessive and truly ridiculous. And the not knowing if the next hour or day will be better? That is the most frustrating. This unpredictability of this disease is why I am trying to do my best to just relax and enjoy the times when I do feel decent. There is no “storing” up feeling good nor energy. Both things come and go, flitting in and out like a hummingbirds. So quickly, I can be at about 80% then, bam, 20%. So it goes.
Hopefully, though, now that I rested today and I was good about not being too pissed at myself, I can go to work tomorrow and be productive. Sorry BFF, you’ll have to handle the rest of the week alone.
Until next time, my people, peace and joy to you and yours – B