Stop Making Plans

So here we are, a Thursday afternoon. Another day of rain. Another day of school closure. Yes, you are correct. We live in the Houston area. Our little own piece of paradise or the “mud pit” as my HB calls it is located outside of the metro area and just west enough to avoid the horrible and devastating flooding that has been happening.

With all of that in mind, my own small world is truly not of any concern nor should it be.

And yet, I will share. Yesterday, one of my friends, let’s refer to her as WF, texted and invited us to meet her and her husband for dinner. My HB was gone to get groceries and run errands so we instead decided this evening would work better. OK. Cool.

Except that, and I know this very well, often, because of my symptoms, we have to cancel plans. My friends know this as well. The day started with my stomach in turmoil. Headache. It rained for several hours this morning. Joy. I took anti-nausea meds and lay back down for a few hours. Back up about 2 p.m. I went outside with the dogs and got a bit of fresh air. Back inside to do laundry, mopping, and such well, you know, “mud pit.” I consumed a few crackers with almond butter. Then, the nausea returned. The bandage is to take the meds…and I have been doing this now for a few months. Instead, I drank some alka-selzer gold – no aspirin – which can help a bit.

Still no relief. The only way to describe what it is like to a non-lymie is it feels like the flu. Headache accompanied by a nauseated tummy with a possible side of indigestion. Lots of fun. A perfect situation to go out to eat at a restaurant. Yeah, not so much.

The conclusion? We had to cancel. My HB kept asking me if I just wanted to go and have drinks, if I wanted to go without him. I know he meant well, but feeling bad is feeling bad. In fact, he’s cooking up some vegetables right now and the smell is making me nauseated. Please don’t tell him.

Anyway, to make this long story longer, when I told my HB that I was feeling yucky and that I couldn’t make it, he said, “Really, you just shouldn’t make any plans. You always cancel.”  Wow. OK. Yes, there is a lot of truth in this statement. And honestly  recognizing that truth is what grabbed and twisted my heart. I could only reply, “You are right.”

Still. While I do know that breaking plans is disappointing not just for me but for everyone involved, I just shouldn’t do it at all? Then what? I can barely keep up socially at all with my friends and family. I miss more functions than I can attend, that’s for sure. But, I don’t know. Anyway, I’m back in bed now, trying desperately not to be bummed out about it all but it’s pretty much not working.

I short change everyone in my life. I realize that yes, I am sick, but disappointing so many other people surely has taken its toll on me as a person. I feel less than. Not all of the time but definitely right now. My friends were gracious as always about our cancellation. But for me? My heart still feels twisted up.

Be good and safe, my people. -B

18 Comments on “Stop Making Plans

  1. Hello friend
    Wow Casey you show another side of adoption. The information no doubt answered someone’s question. The last couple of post were great, followers are still reading the post. Great sign!
    Another question or two, what do you think of the headers? Think about what you think of the site and improvements we can make.
    Be honest, I’m here to support each contributor and respond to all team members.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I disagree with your husband. Make plans and if you must cancel, so be it. If others can’t handle that it’s their problem. You need to try to manage your life, not theirs!

    Liked by 3 people

  3. We both are very independent thinkers and believe each person has a right to their own comfort level whether it be health issues, financial issues, etc. Life is unpredictable.

    Liked by 1 person

    • So true. Same with us. It just struck a chord in me. I try to keep up the positive vibes but every so often the illness gets one over on me. But, I have learned to move on and quickly. Thanks for reading this post. Happy weekend!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I suffer from a burnout and severe depression. Imake pans but cannot always do what I thought I would. So I break plans. It has reduced my social life almost to zilch as my friends and the people playing “good Samaritans” do not understand cancellations.
    I make dreadful efforts like last week when British friends took no heed of my difficulties, arrived at home at 4pm and left at 9pm, drinking endless cups of tea and talkinng about their activitites in life all the time. Result: three days with migraine, bed, frayed nerves, medications, nausea, etc. Pus cancellation of an appointment I really needed on the Friday.
    I try to make engagements far from one another in my calendar. It works better. But there is always the possibility of the unexpected crisis. Few people can understand. Now, I take no heed. I concentrate on the good days, the good things, and the good people. Better a restrained good social life than an extended bad one.
    Cheers! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hi Camille, yes. You could be telling my story too! And it is hard to explain to others how things work for us. While they have somewhat of an endless supply of energy, we do not. We have to calculate how much each thing we do will “cost” us from our energy bank. Have you read the Spoon Theory? It is a really good explanation. Just Google and it should pop up. I hope your spoons replenish soon and that you are feeling well.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I shall look up “the spoon theory”: never heard of it before; πŸ™‚
        You are right about calculating how much energy we may spend on this thing or this other. People who have not experienced it, cannot understand. And they draw upon our energy themselves!
        Hope you are fine today and that nothing will change your balance. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Wow…it’s amazing how different people have different symptoms with Lyme. Thankfully, I haven’t had any issues with my stomach or headaches. Mine are severe food sensitivities…I’m on the road to figuring out what I can eat, and it’s not a lot, let me tell you! I read about Alka-Seltzer Gold in The Top Ten Lyme Disease Treatments by Bryan Rosner. Thanks for following me, and I look forward to more posts!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I use alka selzer gold a lot. It helps for a bit. Lately, I’ve been experiencing really bad indigestion. It waking me up in the middle of the night. A month ago it was nausea. Seems like when one thing gets better, a different thing starts up.


      • What exactly does it do to help? My issues are inflammation in my muscles and joints…and it is aggravated by foods that I eat.

        Liked by 1 person

      • It just helps with nausea and indigestion. The gold doesn’t have any aspirin. I get it on Amazon but I think maybe Walgreens or CVS carries it as well.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Thanks, Joanna. My tummy is doing better. I started putting slices of ginger root in my tea and I think this helped. Also, as per your suggestion, I backed off on the lemon. Sugar is a sneaky one for sure. I really appreciate all the tips you shared!

        Liked by 1 person

      • I just bought some ginger myself this week to try it in my water…I bought a piece of ginger as well as organic ginger powder in case I can’t grate it small enough.

        Liked by 1 person

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