Good Monday morning, my people. What a most glorious weather weekend! Finally, we here in the bowels of Texas have had some fantastical temperatures. Way better than the 90+ temps from last weekend. I was able to get out and enjoy some of this myself. Awesome!
So I am at the gas station on Friday afternoon and I hear this song “Don’t Dream It’s Over” by Crowded House blasting through the outside stereo system (I mean, who in their right mind can pump gas without a soundtrack?) except, unfortunately, in our skewed one dimensional universe, it isn’t Crowded House I hear singing this melody. Actually, I’m not even sure who it is, but it freaks me out all the same. I mean, this song isn’t THAT old and someone has already remade it? And the remake isn’t even a good one. Seriously? Can we not come up with any new ideas, songs, writing, etc. that isn’t just a remake of the old? I know, I know. Most likely, my aggravation is just a sign of my aging.
But the song takes me back to when it was first released in 1986. Ok, ok, that was 30 solid years ago, but it certainly doesn’t excuse the horrible remake of the Original. Yes, I was in high school, a sophomore or junior, and it was a song that was popular and played on the radio incessently. This was BL, Before Lyme, and I was into so much, and I had the energy to do pretty much whatever I set my mind to! In high school, I was a member of the school paper so I went to all kinds of high school sporting events (my entry level postion was a sports writer – too funny), and then I worked my way up to editor my senior year. As most teenage kids, I was very social. My circle of friends was far and wide. At 16, in Kansas, I could drive already and so, this made getting together with friends way easier than not.
All that energy! If only I could have bottled some up and saved it for a rainy day or a rainy year! My world is so limited now that I am dealing with a chronic illness. Hey now, I am not trying to be depressing nor morose, it’s just the hard truth right now. I am sure if you are dealing with a chronic illness also that you “get it.” There’s no one to blame and no one at fault about this situation. It just IS.
At this point, in the throes of severe fatigue, I work and I rest. These are pretty much the only 2 things I can manage at present. Sometimes, I move out of my body for a few seconds and view myself as an outsider. And when I do this, it feels so weird. How can I be so tired and fatigued all of the time? How do other people manage to work and be social? How does anyone have the gumption to get up early on a Saturday, take care of children, go to events, and other things? All in one day???
But then, of course, I remember these are all things I used to do as well, without a thought about how I might be able to juggle all kinds of things going on each and every day.
I guess I am living in an alternative universe for now. A universe where fatigue rules, and Miley Cyrus sings, “Don’t Dream It’s Over.” Hopefully, here soon, I’ll be back in the real world where I’ll “Get to know the feeling of liberation and relief.” Until then, my pretties, take it easy and enjoy the REAL SONG:
Peace – B #LivingwithLyme
