Hey my people, in my head, I’m writing blogs a lot! In reality, you know this isn’t true. I’ll be honest, I made it from when I returned to work from my medical leave in January about February 7 until Spring Break, about March 12th, doing alright. Holding my own. Actually doing regular people things like working, cooking, grocery shopping (curbside pickup, but still!).
But, about Tuesday of break, the severe fatigue was back. I spent most of the break sleeping and/or just resting in bed. No stimulus at all. Usually with my eye cover on. No reading, music, tv. All of that was too exhausting. The days we were out of school were mostly beautiful and coveted southeast Texas weather. I did try each day to get outside for an hour doing something.
I tried not to get swallowed back into the black hole of severe chronic fatigue. This time, I thought to myself, I’ll be the winner! Not so much. I did go back to work this past Monday, telling myself that I can take days off if needed (can I though? I’m out of sick days completely and getting docked pay is – yikes). But that’s the story I’m telling myself to try and pep talk myself every day. How’s it going? It’s going.
I’m working. Definitely not doing much else. I’ve managed to take care of our dogs and cats, sweep the floor a few times, and do laundry. Otherwise, I come home from school, do a few things that have to be done like feed those pesky pets (joking- I love them all), then lay down. I still can’t believe it’s only been a week back since break. It feels like it’s been 3 weeks.
At my doctor’s visit last week, I told her that I am feeling like I did when I had to take medical leave. The Epstein-Barr virus is still active. She checked for some others viruses and my thyroid but everything else appears normal. She said it’s the Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and that I may need to take another medical leave to rest. I’m trying to hang in as long as I can. School isn’t out until right before Memorial Day weekend, and like I said, I’m out of sick/personal days. I’m still waiting to see if the disability claim I made with my disability insurance is going to pay for the leave I took in Jan/Feb. I should know soon.
Again, I’m very grateful to all of you out there writing your lovely blogs. I try and read religiously! Your posts keep me out of my head and give me so many new perspectives on all kinds of things. While I’m just laying around in my very dark, cool bedroom, you help me to travel into new places doing new things, learning new things.
I’m hopeful I can get out of this flare or episode or whatever we want to call it without taking another leave or missing days. But right now, I just don’t know. I have lots of strategies I’m using, but none seem to be helping right now up against the wall of fatigue. I hope spring has arrived for or is at least just around the corner! Take care. Peace and joy to you – Belle
OH! The pups in the pic above are from left to right: LuAnn, with her head on Newton, on the couch. And Zola and Pico, with his pink winter jacket on, laying in the dog bed on the floor. These are 4 of the 6 dogs who own us. 😄