How Many Cats Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb?

FYI, trigger warning:

This might be the most boring post you read this week, Nay! That you read this month!

*Ugh. Cats. They’re driving me a little mad, and this is not the time of year where I’m good at life stuff, so….

Growing up, we always had cats. They were always inside/ outside cats because we always had a slew of other pets inside ( think ferrets (11!!) and cats came and went as they pleased. Now, don’t worry. All of our cats were spayed or neutered, had their shots, etc.

As an adult on my own, I’ve always had a couple of cats. They show up. Just to be very clear: I’ve never, ever, ever been given a cat nor gone to the shelter for a kitty. Just sayin’!

Aside: **please people, for the love of all that is holy, get your cats fixed!

I have lots of cat stories because cats gonna be cats! 🙂

Situation:

We live out in the country (becoming not so country now that Houston is spreading like a disease this way, unfortunately). We have 3 male cats, Shoppie 9?, Beto 8?, and LC 3? – who is possibly also a spawn of Satan? Of course ages on these guys is a guess because, yeah, they just rolled in over the years as strays and stayed.

Beto, waiting for his evening treat.

No longer men of the wild world, these 3 are well cared for now. They have food and water outside all day. My husband has constructed 2 kitty condos… Once more for those in the back, KITTY CONDOS!

Honestly folks, the shingled top opens up on these esteemed models, and we’ve put cuddley beds in each…and there’s a kitty door into the our huge shop, where I’ve also secured a place to put in some warm blankets and a kitty bed. We’re talking prime real estate here.

Then, approximately at 3:00 p.m. sharp daily, these 3 gentlemen meet me at the door when I get home from work nagging me for their little dish of wet cat food. Depending on the weather, the older ones might stay inside after their feast to snuggle on the cat bed on the couch, or the recliner, or *embarrassingly* the kitchen table for a few hours or 6….And then, at 6-7 p.m., said cats all get a small treat of Temptations. Then, everyone goes out for the night.

I know that many hear about outside cats with disdain, but there’s no way they can stay inside and since they were originally strays, none of them want to stay inside full-time, no matter the amenities offered.

Also, we have a doggie door for our *cough 5 dogs (please don’t judge)! All strays, too, or my mom brought them home from a shelter then they moved in with us (y’all, no lie, this is my real life!) and so cats and dogs cannot mix while we are gone from the house. So, yes, our 3 cats live in and out of our humble abode. Don’t forget: KITTY CONDOS have been made with a loving hand just for them!

All 3 are neutered males. For awhile, life was balanced. They don’t LOVE each other, but they’ve certainly learned how to LIVE with one another cordially for the most part. But, then we got trouble, folks right here River City, trouble with a capital “T”!

The newest stray, now officially named Darwin, on HIS kitty condo roof.

A first stray cat showed up about a year ago. Our 3 didn’t seem to care too much. LC would run the stray off aka Tuxedo as he is now named. But Tux stuck around. He still will not let me within 5 feet of him. He is also a male cat.

And then, maybe 3 months ago?  another male stray showed up …..ugh. he’s younger, and he will sometimes let me pet him. But only when it’s morning and dark outside. I like to think he just doesn’t recognize me when it’s light out, but IDK…LOL

Anyhow, at first, he would just randomly show up off and on. Now, LC and this cat do not get along at all. There’s fighting constantly. And I’ve had to nurse both LC and Shoppie with some ear/neck abscesses. Not good at all! I started not leaving food outside because….hello! That’s a total of 5 cats! WTH!?!

I finally realized that 2 doors down, there are cats running around all of the time. Our next door neighbor has told us about the cats and a couple dogs not really being cared for. None are fixed, and I guess sometimes fed, and I’m guessing many times not. Again, we’re in the country….I just wish they would take care of any animals they have…they don’t.

LC. I think he’s in the bathtub here and I have no idea why. Cats!

So, to make this long story about dang cats even longer…Obviously, leaving the food out is attracting the stray cats. But our cats need food as well. But now, we have 2 stray cats around, and our cats are not happy. All this stress! And I do feel bad for those stray cats. They’re just trying to survive!

I wish I could get a hold of both of them to get them fixed and their shots. But I think we’ll need a live trap for that plus time to run them to the vet once trapped. That will have to wait until summer.

So, my husband made another kitty condo – another KITTY CONDO. Now, I feed the cats using bowls that are spaced out accordingly so they do not give weird side glances to each other in the morning at 5 am when I get up for work. When we leave for work, I put the food in the house. It’s too much to have the food out all day which also may attract more stray cats! Y’all – ridiculous!

Everyone gets dry food when I’m home from work by 3-4 p.m. And yes, in food bowls that are spaced out accordingly so no throw downs happen, at least not on my watch!

Shoppie, the OGK, just pretty much over it.

So far, this setup seems to be working for now. Our 3 grumpy gents come back in about 6 p.m. for evening treats, and I go back out to pick up the free feeding bowls.

I’ve never ever been this worried about dang cats before in my entire life! What is going on with me? My husband thinks I’ve got a loose screw with my obsessing over all of this cat chaos, and I’m absolutely sure he is 100% correct!

Remember way back when I said this would be most likely the most boring post ever? Well, I aim to please! Wake up!

Summation:

We are now proud Owners? Friends? Partners? Servants? of 5 male cats whether we like it or not.

To add insult to injury, this morning at 5 a.m., armed with the bowls of cat food, I went outside to serve my masters, well some of them, as the other 3 native residents ran inside for their food.

When I got back to the door, I glanced back, just to make sure all was well before coming back inside and noticed someone new. You gotta be kidding me!

Low and behold, this new “kitty” was black with a white stripe down his back and a fluffy tail. No one was fazed by this newcomer except me. He was at “his” own bowl and the other two were at their bowls, and everyone seemed content.

At this point, I’m throwing in the towel. And there are plenty of kitty condos out there for shelter. As long as the new guy behaves and doesn’t spray his nasty scent anywhere, we can hopefully all be one big happy family.  🙂

If you made it this far, God bless you for your patience! Life is exciting around here with 5 cats plus a skunk! Take care, friends xo – belle

36 Comments on “How Many Cats Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb?

  1. Thank you for the interesting and moving tale. My admiration for your helping animals, without your help their lives would be hungry and sad.

    Joanna

    Liked by 2 people

  2. This is too funny, though I totally understand the stress! I’m glad the cats seemed to have worked things out. Though, oh my goodness, so many cats!!!

    I once choose a rental property because solely based on the fact that it had a resident stray cat, Ralphie. 😂 I fed him daily for a year and was so stressed when he went missing. Then, a few weeks later I saw him… then heard a woman call “Francisco” and saw him go running towards her. She must’ve had better treats!

    Liked by 2 people

    • What a funny story, Erin! You are such a good hearted person to take on a place that has a cat already there! I can’t believe he just up and left! What a naughty boy! I’m glad you found out he was safe and sound though. Cats really are fickle little butts!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I love your story! Nothing you write is boring, so no worries. My husband said he “hated cats.” Until one adopted him as we strolled through a shelter about 7 years ago. He’s a mean ole brute. Never sits on a lap, no cuddles ever. Always been an indoor cat until we moved him to another country. Now he roams the Caribbean beach night and day. Comes home to eat (outside) and for his 2 daily treats. He’s a very bitchy guy, and we call him our Big Black Beach Panther. And we love him just like you love yours!

    Liked by 3 people

    • OMG, I love his name! He’s a man of international mystery! 😀 I mean, he’s living The Life! My husband is mostly a dog guy, but he’s nice enough to indulge the cats around here. We had a big orange cat named Tiggy years ago. He, like your BBB Panther, was a mean grumpy buns. And he showed up as a kitten here, so no excuse for being angry! He just had a mean streak and was not sweet at all. He was always out getting in fights, etc. But, the last year or so he was alive (so like 15 years old), he got very sweet. Cats really do have big personalities and they do what they want! Still chuckling at your guy roaming the beaches! The stories he could tell!

      Liked by 2 people

      • IKR? Do you know what a fan palm is? They are large and round. Locals use them for dinner plates when cooking food on the beach. My favorite view of the BBB Panther is when he lays on an old fallen fan palm. He lays right in the middle of it. Purrfectly centered. xo

        Like

  4. This is hilarious!! Cat chaos?? Condos? Skunks?? Oh my goodness – you have your hands full for sure. Here’s my question – will the skunk get its own condo or have to bed down with the strays.

    Wow – absolutely remarkable. You have a huge heart and you don’t have to be a stray for that to be obvious! ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I had to read all the way through. I was pretty sure no matter the number of cats, they don’t change light bulbs.
    Twice, we’ve had nine stray cats and never once has one of them done housework, let alone change one single bulb. 😸
    Thanks for the memories. Raymond, our last stray was my favourite cause, “Everyone Loves Raymond “

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hi Kevin! I appreciate you reading all my cat nonsense! If only they did some housework! That would be awesome. Thanks for taking care of strays. They need all the tenderness they can get. ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I know I shouldn’t laugh at this debacle you’re in – and I hate to say this, but it seems you’ve developed a reputation amongst the cats in the countryside and they’re all coming to your growing condo development. 😆

    But I hear you, people really need to get their cats fixed because it helps with controlling the pet population.

    You have a wonderful heart and despite the stress it’s causing you, you are giving love and care to these strays! Hang in there. At least they’re not Gremlins!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hi AB! I hope you’re having a great birthday weekend! I was so stressed when the 2nd stray showed up, but you know, humor is a better way of dealing with this. And you are right! We’ve obviously been advertising our accomplishments way too much! What would be a good name for our development? LOL

      Good point about them not being Gremlins! Holy moly! 🤪

      Liked by 2 people

  7. Thank you for caring for the cats. I love the idea of the outdoor kitty condos for those cats who just won’t live inside. We have one of those and he is stuck inside due to neighbors who had a fit…he would love an outdoor kitty condo.

    Liked by 2 people

    • One of the strays loves his kitty condo. Oftentimes, he comes out of one in the morning. Originally, I was going to buy something similar on Amazon, but when I showed my husband, he said he could make a few instead 🙂 We’re doing what we can. You amaze me though. The time, sweat and tears, and joy you go through with all the kitties you help and care for! Thank you for caring and helping so much!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you, and we all do what we can. Takes all kinds of help to make a difference in the life of the kitties.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. “Three grumpy gents”…I love this. Thanks for a fun post…I learned a lot! (I’m allergic to kitty cats so I need to admire from afar.) xo! 😘

    Liked by 2 people

  9. I am a cat lover. My husband is not as he prefers dogs; however, those cats still keep coming around as they love our garden and will often sleep in the tropical containers. They do make the birds frequently visit less the bird bath.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Not boring at all! In fact, I thought your post was very humorous. You are obviously a very caring person to be giving these men a home. Word will probably spread and you will have 10 before you know it!

    Liked by 2 people

    • I’m glad you got a laugh! I mean, all we can do is laugh as well. And you are so right that more may show up. That’s my major concern right now! We don’t need anymore cats! But I guess they need us. It’s hard to turn away a hungry kitty.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. It’s a drag having irresponsible neighbors, but at least some of those neighbors’ critters end up with you and your hub. Cats will worm their way into your heart (and pocketbook), but there are rarely dull moments with them.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hi Tina, this is so true. They do worm their way in. And I just can’t turn them away. They are hungry! Hoping to get a hold of both soon for shots and neuter. One of them is super lovey. He’s already “one of our cats.” LOL

      Like

  12. All I can say is, “Be careful.” A friend in Kerrville started out the same way. I just looked at my photo of the cats she’s collected at her country home, and the number’s around forty. Maybe more. You’ve had your three fixed — good for you! — but there are those others. Who knows what kind of havoc they’ll raise (or how many kittens they’ll create!) before summer.

    Anyway: my friend wants to get rid of her crowd, but the animal control people won’t pick up any cat that hasn’t been captured and caged, and at well over 90, my friend’s not up for that. Plus, the strays are skittish as can be. She does say she hasn’t seen a snake or a rat in about three years, so there’s that. I’m not sure she’s trained any to change lightbulbs, though.

    (It occurs to me the answer to that question might be: “For gosh sakes, don’t change that light bulb. You might see how many cats actually are out there”)

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Hi Linda! Great answer to the lightbulb question! Holy cow, that’s a lot of cats. But it does snowball easily! This is why I’m trying to keep the food inside and only feed outside on a schedule. Even that hasn’t worked out great because sometimes I forget to bring it in. I think we will have to invest in a live trap so at least we can get the 2 strays shots and fixed. I just really wish people would take care of their animals properly.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. A major problem with feeding stray cats or any animals raised outdoors would be the fierce competition to also forage between other hungry species such as squirrels, raccoons, various birds and even insects. I guess I can only say keep up the good work on your own terms.

    Liked by 1 person

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