The Lyme and Stomach Tango

This past week hasn’t been much fun. On the positive side of it, I am having way less fatigue and exhaustion and the nausea has simmered a bit. This makes me happy. I try to center on the upside of this. But what I have learned about Lyme and its multifaceted myriad of delights is that when one thing comes under control or subsides, well, just wait; there is another wondrous ailment that will pop up. So it goes.

Today, I am missing work again. The allotted and bank of sick days is quickly coming to a zero quantity and even with the leave days added in the fall for the next school year (I am in no way complaining as it is a generous addition), I will be hard pressed to not use them all and more if things continue as they are at present. This worry must go on the back burner for now though. 

Though the nausea has subsided to a minimal issue, and I have some meds to help curtail it, instead, I am now having some serious indigestion. It happens a good 3-5 hours after eating, no matter what I eat. For the past 8 nights, the indigestion has been so terrible that it has made me wake out of a dead sleep, usually about 1-3 a.m. Am I getting desperate for relief? Yo buddy, for sure.

tango

                             Image via  Tango Santa Maria – Gotan Project – YouTube

What are some things I have tried to do to alleviate this? I’m on a gluten free diet for the most part. I eat dinner early in the evening, and I eat smaller portions. I take my supplements and herbal tinctures throughout the day; I try to spread them out. I take a good probiotic and my LLMD has me on Nystatin, an anti-fungal. I drink a solid gallon of lemon water daily and a few cops of green tea in between. No sodas and just one cup of coffee in the morning. Alka-slezer Gold is a good friend of mine and can help minimize the indigestion for a bit. I’ve also added charcoal tablets after doing research. These can help but they cannot be taken infinitely. The meds for the nausea really don’t help with indigestion. Whole different animal, I guess.

Here’s where I am today: no food as of yet. I am presently drinking green tea with some sliced fresh ginger. Water consumption is also happening. Report? No indigestion, but tummy is unsettled and my damn head hurts. Plan for the rest of the day? Maybe try and eat some plain scrambled eggs and/or have some plain chicken broth. Then, see what happens. 

Going to the doctor is not a realistic step right now. If it gets worse, or if I can’t eat at all, then I will definitely go. It’s just so difficult to try and get in to see my LLMD here without a prior appointment. Ridiculous really. In February, when I was so sick with nausea and fatigue, I called and they told me the wait was 2 weeks to see my doctor. When I pushed them and also emailed my doctor directly, I finally was able to squeeze in a few days later. I saw doc’s PA who is a seriously an awesome person, but PA diagnosed me with the flu (I did not have the flu) and I ended up back in the office 2 weeks later. Needless to say, it wasn’t very productive on top of my feeling like total crap. 

I’ve been doing a lot of research this week on the Gut and Lyme. I realize that I am probably going to have to clean up my diet even more. After almost 3 years on antibiotics, I am sure my stomach is affected. Perhaps there is residual damage as well? I have been totally off of antibiotics since November, but I am sure that getting my tummy back to “normal” is going to take some time and serious dedication. Also, trial and error. While I did well on abx in that I did not end up with a Candida infection nor C-Diff, I really have a feeling that some of the issues I am experiencing now are due to the extended use of the abx. 

Ok, friends, I am off to make some more ginger tea and do some resting. Namaste. -B

 

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I just wanted a few days….

First off, I hope everyone had an enjoyable Christmas and that it wasn’t too stressful. Ours was quiet, more quite than usual. Our winter break started Saturday, December 20th, and I had been counting the hours. Not that I dislike my job at all; I was just looking forward to the uninterrupted and unscheduled – mostly – time until returning on January 6th. The past few weeks leading up to the breAk had been wrought with both personal and work drama. More work drama than anything.

The weekend was good and then Monday and Tuesday, I was feeling the best I have felt in months! I had energy, and I was working through my lists at a nice speed! 😁 I thought I was being careful and not pushing it to hard. It was exciting. Then, bam. Party over, sucker! I woke up Christmas Eve with a sore throat, and, well, it’s been all downhill from there. While I was able to cook a turkey that day get all of the gifts wrapped, and although we had a nice romantic dinner, I felt like hell. Christmas day was worse. I literally was in bed all day. Missing a trip to visit and dinner with the wonderful in-laws, I stayed in bed and pondered my life.

I’ve really been trying to be more accepting of my situation and more accepting of my physical limitations, which can change at any given moment as I am sure many of you have experienced. My initial reactions have been to become really upset and disappointed which then leads to stress, then to sadness and depression. The 4 S slope as I have coined it! The stressful, self-indulgent, sad, slippery slope!  Down, down, down.

But what I am beginning to realize is that that kind of behaviour sets me back. Making myself go through that rollercoaster changes nothing. I still do not have the energy or I am too sick to attend an event, dinner, baby shower, whatever. It also leaves me much worse off physically and mentally. I need to change my “stinking thinking” as they say in AA.

So, yes, it was indeed disappointing that I could not go to celebrate  Christmas at my in-laws as planned. I wanted to spend time with them. Instead, I had a little chat with myself assessing how I felt and thinking and saying, “It will be best for me to stay home today. Between the Lyme and cold infection, I have no business running around today, and that is ok!” While this seems like such a little thing to do, I guess it psychologically gave me permission to stay home without

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feeling guilty. My in-laws were gracious as always, but the best thing for me was the kindness I showed myself. I need to practice this much, much more!

While I still have a cold, I am wishing for a speedy recovery so I can still enjoy the rest of our break. How was your Christmas? Anything you would like to share about dealing with Lyme during the holidays?

Wishing you peace and lots of joy – B

Haul Out the Holly

Hi all, so this may not be the only post about the Holidays. Back in the day, I would almost be ready to go for Christmas at this point in the year. But in these past few years, it has become more and more difficult for me to get motivated to do anything related to the holidays. Here at our house, we celebrate Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s.

 

Book xmastree

I’m trying not to dread it, the Holiday Season. Yet, every time I turn around, we are getting closer and closer to that time of year. Thanksgiving wasn’t really that crazy, and honestly, neither are the other holidays really. Our family keeps it pretty low key all the way around, but I am still feeling anxious, I guess. There are just so many expectations involved, and I can barely meet any expectations the rest of the year! I am looking at the holidays as a break from work and time to rest, but that is not what most people have in mind. I know that I should be out visiting family and friends, socializing and having fun but a lot of the time, I am just not up for it. This may sound crazy, but with Lyme, I have experienced sound and light sensitivity along with anxiety. Sometimes, it is a little and sometimes the anxiety is huge. Especially when I am in large groups. There is so much going on and so much stimulus, it just becomes very overwhelming.

But hey, overall, I am just trying to be very thankful for all the love and kindness my family and friends have been showing me throughout this journey and, as for fretting about the holidays?  Thems First World Problems, yo.

Sending the sugar plum fairies your way -B

 

Back to Bed

Well, all in all, this Thanksgiving break, I have had a decent run of it. But Thursday and today, I am paying for it. It’s 12:30 p.m. on a Saturday; my husband and in-laws are outside working on our new shop and here I lay in bed. We did go to our friends’ house last night for dinner. It was lovely, and I had not seen them since Labor Day weekend! When I am at work that is about all I can manage to do so socializing it not something  can partake of much these days. The evening was nice and I kinda felt normal, and not the “new normal”, the old normal.  🙂

In an offensive move, I played everything safe, too! I took my meds as scheduled, I drank just one glass and a smidge of champagne, I ate more salad than anything else, and I shared a piece of cheesecake with my husband. I know that alcohol and sugar are not great for me but, I promise, the rest of the time, I do a pretty good job of not using either. We were home by 10:30 also!  But then, I could not go to sleep.UGH.

I took my doxepin as soon as we arrived at home. I knew it would take a bit to kick in, then I took lunesta. But for the life of me….I think I finally managed to fall out about 1 a.m. I guess this is part of the reason I feel so horrible today? Damn! Waking up about 6 a.m. to give my Chihuahua Chino his anti-seizure meds, I could barely get out of bed. The bodyaches were everywhere; I basically limped to the kitchen. No worries thought I, I will take a pain med and all will be better. Chino got his meds, and I took mine and headed back to bed. I was finally able to get warm and cozy and doze off for a few more hours. At 9, when I did get up for good today, I was in as much pain all over as I was at 6 a.m. Plus, the headache started its familiar knocking. Moving around as much as possible and having my daily cup of joe, I still could not shake the body pain. It’s one of THOSE days, friends. Uncool.

Struggling and stubbornly, I did some household chores and then headed back to my sanctuary, my sweet bed. But, I am still hurting, and I feel frustrated. Chino and our other Chihuahua, Boo Boo, are on the bed with me sacked out, and I am writing this blog.

Where I am today!
Where I am today!

Can anyone suggest anything to help alleviate the bodyaches and pain? Anything? I have tried an Epsom salt bath, and I have taken a pain med. Both have helped a bit, but I a still having difficulty moving around which is a bit scary, honestly. What are some things you do to at least push back these symptoms and/or take the edge off? Thanks in advance.

Peace, B

Cliff’s Edge

On the edge!
On the edge!

What a week!! I thought there about Tuesday and Wednesday that I wouldn’t make it, but guess what? I did! I wonder at what costs though. I say this because I have been struggling all weekend with symptoms. Most aggravating is the all over soreness and pain. Then, there are the IBS issues. And then the indigestion issues. All of this hit me on Friday at school, and it hasn’t let up. NO MERCY!

Without TMI, I just feel all over terrible. If I can get one issue to subside, another flares up. I have tried epsom salt baths, resting, pain pills, alka selzer gold, heating pads, gingerale, tea…..nothing, nada. I am pretty sure this is what is mean by herxing!  I have tried taking my mind off the total uncomfortableness of being me by reading, Facebook, grading essays, playing Candy Crush, watching Netflix. Alas, I just can’t get out of myself enough to feel better.

I missed an event last night, a family event, and so that was tough. Then, today, my husband is working on his new shop area and of course, I am in no shape to help. Instead, my 60+ year old in laws are slaving out there. I feel so useless. It all hit me this morning in the shower, which was a chore in and of itself, and I just gave in and started crying. I do have meltdowns like this every so often but it’s been awhile. I do not like it when this happens because I feel so helpless. I feel like I have lost some pieces of me that I may never get back. I feel like I am at the edge of a cliff, teetering, looking into a vastness, a place where nothing changes and I just continue to struggle every day.

I know deep down that this is just a culmination of being exhausted, stressed, and depressed. I guess being aware of all of these things helps? My husband says that it is a good thing to have a meltdown every now and then, to grieve about this illness. And, for the most part, I do feel better after my little meltdowns. How do you deal with all of the stress and symptoms of Lyme disease? Any tricks you can share with us? I think I need some Kid President today.

Off to a nap. Peace – B

Boredom

So since I am a teacher, I have about 2 months off. Now, granted, this time is filled with some work such as professional workshops, trainings, interviewing candidates, working on lesson plans. Still though, is is a nice chunk of time to call “vacation”. This summer, I took some of my required classes right after school was dismissed and while I have gone up to campus to conduct a few interviews, I cannot complain at all. I have had a lot of time to relax.
I would really like to say that I have spent this time in a productive way, but that isn’t the case at all! While I have managed to do some small projects like organize the closet, the plastic drawer and the papers that need filing, other than that….Ugh. My main focus this summer is to work on getting well. This requires dedication! Ha! I have my Picc line now, so it takes about an hour to dose. I then try and clean the house as much as I can: 6 dogs running in and out the doggie door and the shedding-Oiy! About noonish, I lay down with a heating pad and a book and do some reading for a few hours. Sometimes, this turns into like 4 hours. And then, sometimes, I attempt dinner if I know husband will be home, proceeded by watching some shows.
While I wish I could do more, I know that the best thing for me right now is to not overextend and to rest constantly. I am working hard to build up my immune system so it fights back the Lyme as well as for the first day of school! I plan on working this year! I completed last year successfully; it was a long haul but I was proud of myself for meeting this goal. Anyway, with resting as the project this summer, ain’t much getting done! I hope all of you are getting some relaxation in too!

Peace ducks,
-B