Fire in the Hole

Fourth
Fourth

Well, I certainly haven’t been diligent with posting. Just a quick update, I’m still having issues with my lower back. Insurance has denied a lumbar MRI. Doctor exploring possible colon issue, possible pinched nerve, and a few other things. The pain is bearable, and I just don’t have the gumption to fight the insurance on it. My kidneys are good and they were my main concern. However, I have had all kinds of other check-ups and doctor visits just to make sure the rest of me isn’t falling apart: eye doc, dentist, general doctor. All of those visits have turned out just right. None of this is an excuse for not posting!

Hopefully, all of you enjoyed the 4th of July weekend. We had plans both Saturday and Sunday, but Lyme played its card, and it was a doozey. One positive is that since I have been having better days, I can really feel the herx when it comes on. I started feeling under the weather on Saturday. I honestly just chalked it up to a busy week; I actually was doing things a “normal” person might do! Running errands, grocery shopping, doctor visits. It was all kind of amazing. I haven’t been up for much of any of that in a really long time. Last summer I had a PICC line so I was somewhat limited in my scope. I also didn’t feel really great most of the 5 weeks I was dosing. Anyway, by Saturday afternoon I was in bed with a headache. My husband had to go to our friends’ party by himself but he was very understanding and that helped me not feel so cruddy.

By Sunday though, all was lost. I woke up about 3 a.m. and felt so nauseous. I managed to slip back to sleep for a few hours but by 6 a.m. I was up. Everything was hurting. Joints, head, tummy. Oiy! I took a hot Epsom salt bath and went back to bed. Yet again, we had to cancel with friends. But I just couldn’t even “suck it up”!  I mean, have you ever felt that kind of nausea where you just do not want to move because it makes it worse? Yes, that was my Sunday in a nutshell. I was literally in bed all day long. And no reading or anything productive. The little a/c window unit on high, the curtains drawn, and the heating pad on full blast was what my day entailed. I finally crawled out of my cave about 7:30 p.m. and ate some corn on the cob.

Today is better. I’m exhausted and my stomach is still making some strange noises but overall, I feel like I am going to make it. I really thought I was doing a decent job on detoxing but maybe not so much. I am just so grateful that it is summertime, and I can manage this disease a lot easier and without inconveniencing a bunch of people. Of course, I am sorry to have missed all of the fun with our friends. Trying not to beat myself up about letting people down is a real struggle for me, as I am sure it is for all chronic disease warriors.

Again, I hope this was weekend you were able to make some great memories, – B

Derailed

Hello out there! I apologize for being gone for so long.

I had a bit of a scare though, and it has been a struggle to get back on track. So I caught a cold at the end of March. It was the 3rd one I have had this year; the immune system is shot and I am a teacher. The odds were not in my favor. Also, it was a stressful time of year, state testing, and I guess all of this made for the perfect storm.

On a Monday, I got up like I normally do. I had coffee and started to get ready for work. About 30 minutes later, I started feeling really dizzy and nauseous. It was terrible. My head started pounding, and I had to lay down. I could not go to work like that.I spent the entire day in bed, fluctuating between sleep and pain and nausea. The next day, the same scenario played out. Wednesday I went to my LLMD. She tested me for h pylori, EBV, and Mycoplasma. She told me to rest through the weekend.

I will tell you, this was a scary experience for me. With all of the symptoms I have encountered with my travels with Lyme, I have been able to manage them to a degree. But the dizziness? This was new and something I definitely could not control. I was out of work a week. I have never missed that much school, even when I got married. It made me start thinking about all kinds of crazy (yet possible) scenarios. I tried to figure out a Plan B,C, and D. None of those plans look too great. We need two salaries. I most likely cannot qualify for any disability as I have been working. I have been trying to save monies for an “emergency” in which I might use up all of my sick days and still need time off. But what if there is a point where I really cannot work? I don’t have an answer for this.

After all of my labs came back, it really wasn’t clear why I was feeling so terrible. By the end of the weekend, I was on the mend, but again, there really was no clear answer to why I felt the way I did at all. In my own medical experience …ah,hmm, I am guessing that my body was just done. The cold knocked me down and then along with the stress and the Lyme and Mycoplasma, I just didn’t have a shot.

Since that incident, I have been feeling a tad better. Less overall pain, more mental clarity than I have had in quite sometime and less fatigue. Go figure.I had 2 full weeks of feeling almost normal and now, the headaches and the joint pain is creeping back in. Anyway, I hope this finds you pain free. Take care!  Peace -B   #lymediseasechallenge

Off the track!
Off the track!

Apologies

Hi all. This may not be a positive post so I understand if you have to skip it. I’m struggling. There is no other way to state the fact. It’s been really tough since the New Year when I contracted a cold/upper respiratory infection. After three weeks of all that stuff, then it’s that time of the month, followed by the full moon, and here we are.

Last Sunday through this past Thursday was like a challenge course. Hip pain, lower back pain and headaches plagued me all week long. I attributed some of it to the full moon on Monday, but who knows? I have also been on Stephen Buhner’s suggested herbal protocol for Lyme for about 3 weeks now as well. Then yesterday, I actually felt fairly decent!

What a terrible trick though. I started the day positive, without much pain at all which I realized made my brain work better. So I felt like I was a super ninja most of the day. Until about 3 p.m. Then, the storm clouds rolled in.

My head began to ache accompanied by nausea. I took a pain pill. Nada. The headache laughed in my face. Headed home, took some alka selzer gold, slapped on my eye cover and proceeded to lay in bed until about 7:15. The pain dulled a bit, but I could tell it was still lurking in the shadows…..

I was supposed to work this morning. With my team. I had planned to do this for months. But the headache came back with a vengeance about 5 a.m. this morning. One huge apology sent out to my team leader about how I could not make it today. I was so disappointed with myself. I continue to stack up all of the things I plan and then cannot follow through on.

But, I thought I would still be able to make it to dinner with our friends this evening. Well, I’m sure you can guess the outcome of this drama. I had a few decent hours. Until about 3 p.m. When I told my husband I couldn’t make go tonight, he was understandably upset. Then I got upset. I’m just so very tired of apologizing to everyone for everything. I’m tired of making plans and then canceling. I’m tired of not being able to hold up my end of any bargain.

I love my husband, my friends, and my work. I don’t want to let anyone down and yet, I feel like today was a trifecta. And I am sorry this post is so negative.

Thinking of you all – B

#readbetweenthelyme