Don’t Dream It’s Over

Good Monday morning, my people. What a most glorious weather weekend! Finally, we here in the bowels of Texas have had some fantastical temperatures. Way better than the 90+ temps from last weekend. I was able to get out and enjoy some of this myself. Awesome!

So I am at the gas station on Friday afternoon and I hear this song “Don’t Dream It’s Over” by Crowded House blasting through the outside stereo system (I mean, who in their right mind can pump gas without a soundtrack?) except, unfortunately, in our skewed one dimensional universe, it isn’t Crowded House I hear singing this melody. Actually, I’m not even sure who it is, but it freaks me out all the same. I mean, this song isn’t THAT old and someone has already remade it? And the remake isn’t even a good one. Seriously? Can we not come up with any new ideas, songs, writing, etc. that isn’t just a remake of the old? I know, I know. Most likely, my aggravation is just a sign of my aging.

But the song takes me back to when it was first released in 1986. Ok, ok, that was 30 solid years ago, but it certainly doesn’t excuse the horrible remake of the Original. Yes, I was in high school, a sophomore or junior, and it was a song that was popular and played on the radio incessently.  This was BL, Before Lyme, and I was into so much, and I had the energy to do pretty much whatever I set my mind to! In high school, I was a member of the school paper so I went to all kinds of high school sporting events (my entry level postion was a sports writer – too funny), and then I worked my way up to editor my senior year. As most teenage kids, I was very social. My circle of friends was far and wide. At 16, in Kansas, I could drive already and so, this made getting together with friends way easier than not. 

All that energy! If only I could have bottled some up and saved it for a rainy day or a rainy year! My world is so limited now that I am dealing with a chronic illness. Hey now, I am not trying to be depressing nor morose, it’s just the hard truth right now. I am sure if you are dealing with a chronic illness also that you “get it.”  There’s no one to blame and no one at fault about this situation. It just IS.

At this point, in the throes of severe fatigue, I work and I rest. These are pretty much the only 2 things I can manage at present. Sometimes, I move out of my body for a few seconds and view myself as an outsider. And when I do this, it feels so weird. How can I be so tired and fatigued all of the time? How do other people manage to work and be social? How does anyone have the gumption to get up early on a Saturday, take care of children, go to events, and other things? All in one day???  

But then, of course, I remember these are all things I used to do as well, without a thought about how I might be able to juggle all kinds of things going on each and every day. 

I guess I am living in an alternative universe for now. A universe where fatigue rules, and Miley Cyrus sings, “Don’t Dream It’s Over.”  Hopefully, here soon, I’ll be back in the real world where I’ll “Get to know the feeling of liberation and relief.” Until then, my pretties, take it easy and enjoy the REAL SONG: 

 

Peace – B    #LivingwithLyme

Advertisements

Circling Back Around

Hi there. I know, I know. It’s been awhile. Too long in fact. I hope things are joyful in your world. Between going back to work (over 2 months ago), and dealing with this severe fatigue, I haven’t really done much at all besides try to get to work each day. Nothing to write home about, you know? It’s kinda boring to write Hi Guys, I still have Chronic Lyme, Chronic Fatigue, and Fibromyalgia and some other stuff. And even more boring for you to read! But we’ll forge on. 

While things at work are going well considering my limitations, I’ve been struggling physically and emotionally, mostly because, well, first, we are getting close to the 4 year mark of this diagnosis and the beginning of treatment for said diagnosis. And, yes, as I’ve shared before, there has been progress made, man, it sure feels like it hasn’t been much. I mean not much for a 4 year mark. As the patient, it is very difficult to be objective about measuring “progress” as well.  Another reason I have been struggling is that the severe fatigue is back, yet again.

There’s no way to plan when dealing with severe fatigue. I can’t rest one day, and then feel so much better the next. I can’t save up energy to use as I would like to. Not that there would be much energy to save up at this point. Still, if I could save up energy, I would totally be strteggically planning! But, severe fatigue is somewhat or more like always unpredictable. Anyway, it’s back and rearing it very ugly head! 

As many chronic fatigue sufferers try to explain severe fatigue to a “normal” people, there don’t seem to be enough metaphors nor analogies to clearly describe what severe fatigue feels like. The Spoon Theory is a good start, but on some days, we have no “spoons.” So we get up, maybe, and start the day with a zero balance or a deficit of energy. And this just keeps going on, day to day. Month to month. It can be a spirit breaker for sure. 

My doctor, at least my local doctor, looks at my labs and says, “yes, of course you are having severe fatigue.” All the numbers doc watches are low when they should be high. The EBV is flaring again, so that adds to the crazy chemistry going on in my body. Inflammation markers are off the chart too even with my dietary changes. Add that to the fatigue as well. Doc tells me to keep doing the B12 shots, the ATP Fuel, the Glutathione shots. I say, OK as I wonder when I might be able to make it through a day without feeling the crushing tiredness. I know (or at least keep the flame of Hope lit) that this cycle will end but sometimes it is hard to remember when every day, every hour is weighing on me like a heavy stone. 

I feel bad when my friends ask how I am doing. They try to keep up with me, but I move at a snail’s pace anymore with nothing new to report for months, and now, for years. They ask, How was your weekend? Are you ready for the holidays? What are you doing next Saturday?  And right now, unfortunately, I honestly don’t know how to answer. 

  1. How was your weekend?                           A:  It was great. I spent most of it in bed.
  2. Are you ready for the holidays?              A:  My head explodes, LOL – God, no.
  3. What are you doing next Saturday?       A: Uhm, I think I have an important                                                                                                       appointment scheduled – with my bed.

Speaking of my bed, I need to go change the sheets and get it made so I can climb back up in there. Hoping this Sunday brings you cooler weather and happiness crafted for the soul. 

Peace -B

P.S. Thoreau makes me happy. I hope he makes you a little happy too.

Chronic fatigue returns
Keep on keeping on…..

 

 

Honeycolony Equilibrum Energy Superfood – Review

** “I have been given this product as part of a product review through the Chronic Illness Bloggers  network. Although the product was a gift, all opinions in this review remain my own and I was in no way influenced by the company.” **

As many of you already know, I am a part of the Chronic Illness Bloggers network. Often, we have the opportunity to review items that can possible assist us with our day to day activities. Being a part of this network has been an excellent way for me to connect with various products that I might otherwise not know about. Before this, I had never heard of the company Honeycolony nor about any of its products. However, now, after using this product for over a month, and getting to know what this company is all about, I am so glad that I tried this product, Equilibrium Energy Superfood.

Before I move ahead with the overall review, first, I would like to share some information about this company, Honeycolony. This company is committed to organic and sustainable products. I scoured through their website, looking at what kind of value system this company presents. And what I found was that this is a company that prioritizes QUALITY as one of its most important components. In fact, Honeycolony promotes itself as “HoneyColony. We do not trade excellence for profit.”  Every one of the products I looked over on their website is made from organic and pure elements. The values this company promotes such as holistic healingmedicinal activism, as well as environmental sustainability (especially activism for the preservation of bees), these values also align with my own. So, being exposed to this company, let alone to its products, has been a wonderful experience!

equilibrium2

But now, let’s talk about the actual product I was provided to try out. The Equilibrium Energy Superfood, a 2.3 ounce jar, arrived in my mailbox a little over a month ago. It’s touted to “energize mind, body, and soul.” While I always have interest for any product that can possibly help me in my fight against chronic fatigue, I also have a healthy sense of reality in that many times, I get my hopes up only to be disappointed…yet, again. So this is how I approached my experience with Equilibrium Energy Superfood.

First, I had difficulty reading the label on the jar. Trying to decipher the directions proved impossible even with my reading glasses on (and off). Finally, I just went back to the website for this information. Granted, this is a small jar and bigger print most likely could not be implemented. The website has all of the needed information about Equilibrium Energy Superfood, a detailed list and description of organic ingredients, the suggested dosage, along with the various benefits. Many of the elements included in this product are items I have tried individually throughout my treatment for Chronic Lyme disease such as ginger, Tumeric, and raw honey, just to name a few.

Helps with chronic fatigue
Equilibrium Energy Superfood

I immediately began with the suggested use of “… a teaspoon a day of this super potent superfood blend, preferably on an empty stomach. However, you can add it to a smoothie and have a teaspoon pre workout. One 12 ounce jar should last you a month with a teaspoon per day. Extremely POTENT.”  

Looking at this superfood, it has both the consistency and viscosity of molasses. I expected it to taste pretty terrible. BUT, it tastes just fine! The overwhelming taste is that of honey, and there is no after taste whatsoever. I take it at the beginning of my day, with breakfast. At first, I didn’t really notice any difference at all. Then, I started back to work after my summer break (I am a teacher). And, a few weeks ago, I really started to notice a difference in my morning energy levels. Starting back to work after a couple of months off is difficult, even for a healthy person. I was dreading going back to work because of the daily challenge, especially in the morning, and especially with the fatigue.

Presently, I’ve been back at work for almost a month, and I have been diligently taking my Equilibrium Energy Superfood every morning as a part of my routine, and I am seeing a difference. In the past, by mid-morning, I am spent, and the rest of the day just grinds on. While using Equilibrium, I’ve been able to get past that mid-morning slump! It has been awesome! I admit, I have tried taking a second teaspoon in the afternoon, but I haven’t seen a result from adding another dose later on. However, I also have not done the afternoon dose on any kind of consistent basis.

equilibrium3

Faithfully taking a teaspoon daily since I received the product, I am just now almost out of the product. I am surprised by how long this 2.3 ounce jar has lasted! I do plan on ordering more of this product and keeping it as a part of my regime. Admittedly, the price, $53.95 per 2.3 ounce jar, is high, but not when considering its impact and how long this product lasts (again, I take just a teaspoon or less daily). As a chronic illness patient, and as many of you I’m sure, I have tried ALL kinds of things. Anything and everything within reason to propel me towards feeling even just minutely better and/or more comfortable in my daily life. Is not off the table to try. Without a doubt, I recommend Equilibrium Energy Superfood to you.

I hope this day finds you at a pain-free level and with joy to spare. Peace, my friends. -B

 

 

 

Reporting for Duty

Hello my peoples! Yes, I have been so MIA these past 3-4 weeks, and I will tell you, I miss blogging. Yet, duty calls (code for JOB). Work started back up earlier this school year (as in 10-12 days earlier) and right now, it is taking up almost every spare minute I can manage along with being chronically ill. Although, and I am probably forgetting something major, I feel like this weekend will be a time for me to catch up. (Please, God, please!)

My Post Summer 2016 Life thus far: I am teaching all dual credit (high school/college) freshman composition classes this year, which is very cool, so this makes for approximately 132 students total across the five classes I teach daily. Awaiting my undivided attention in a cubby on my kitchen table are about 110 essays to grade, add to that about 75 online responses to a novel we read..the picture is becoming clear, no?  To my credit, I did grade about 25 of these yesterday along with another 25 responses to another piece. And grades are due this coming Friday. You heard, correctly. And my Gradebook is blank at this moment. I believe, or rather hope, that I am just going crazy right now because, HEY, it is the beginning of the school year, and quite honestly, I blank out when it comes to both the beginning and the closing of any school year every.single.year. Sixteen years later, I should know exactly what to expect.

My Post Summer 2016 Health thus far: My health is holding up ok so far, but I have really been pushing it at every turn, and I know I need to get balanced ASAP, or there will be fallout. Is crying to and from school considered fallout? Maybe. Yeah, so that’s been happening. Not every day, but enough for it to be awkward. And not because I don’t want to go to work or come home; it’s just at certain points in the past 3 weeks, my body and brain just feel soooo overwhelmed and tired that I can’t even have an appropraite emotional response to anything. Mental capacity has shifted into Overdrive, and it is causing memory issues, I know it is the neuro-lyme. Or as stated above, I am just going crazy right now. *Note the key word is “now.” LOLs

The picture above is a perfect visual for how I feel at the moment! (from a really cool website http://www.firstcovers.com). Thanks for hanging in there with me. I promise I will get a decent and somewhat interesting post up as soon as I can get my head above water (please send positive vibes my way that this will happen for me THIS WEEK). As always, I appreciate your stopping in to read and comment. Drop a hello if you can. I’m missing my biggest bloggies fans. Have a fun and safe rest of the holiday weekend. BTW, I can’t get that Counting Crows song, Miami, out of my dang head! 🙂 Peace-B
 When summer opens, I see how fast it matures, and fear it will be short; but after the heats of July and August, I am reconciled, like one who has had his swing, to the cool of autumn.   –Ralph Waldo Emerson

Meltdown City, Next Stop!

What brought all of this on, this visit to Meltdown City? Although I didn’t share it with you (yet), about a month ago, while I was still in school (working) I had a terrible Rash (in fact, it does deserve a capital “R”) on the left side of my face, on my left had, a few spots on both of my lower arms, and inside of my thighs. It came on suddenly. It took a over week, a trip to Urgent Care, 2 trips to my LLMD and a week out of work, along with several medications, to get rid of it. The reason I haven’t posted about this incident is – don’t laugh – is that it was pretty traumatic overall. I promise to tell the drama soon. Anyway, it finally went away, but there was no consensus as to what was the cause (except it was not parasitic).

It went away, school came to a close, my step-daughter graduated (happy dance!), summer started, on and on. Early in June, my doctor put me on this cool supplement called ATP Fuel for my low energy, and I have really been seeing some brain improvement function from it which was a real lift-me-up these past few weeks. Now, I am not saying I am “cured.” Not by any means, but I am certainly feeling like I had managed to get over a significant hump since severe fatigue has been one of my most loyal companions over these past few years!

Let’s just get downright crazy and say that mentally, I’ve had the best 2-3 weeks that I have had since before being diagnosed with Lyme in March 2013. It has sincerely been that big of a deal at, least to me. This past Wednesday, I had an itch near my left eye. Bug bite. That then spread all around my left eye, down along my jawline, and under my chin.Pretty much the same area that the Rash showed up a month ago. It was basically a battle to get into my LLMD. I do not have dermatologist, but I did call around, and I was able to get an appointment for Tuesday. However, knowing how horrible this Rash became last time (the top of my left-hand is scarred now), I saw my LLMD yesterday afternoon. To say this appointment sucked is an understatement. She put me on several medications, anti-viral, steroids, anti-itch pills, and said I must be getting into something and that it will clear up.

I asked, what if is doesn’t clear up? Answer, go to a dermatologist. When I asked if I should come back in for her to check me as well, she said no.It will clear up by Monday. Huh? I asked how will we know what is causing the Rash, and what if it comes back (you know, since this is 2 time in 4 weeks), and she basically said it may never come back. Well, yes. That is one way of looking at it. And while that in fact is true….I HAVE LYME DISEASE! It has taken over my immune system, MY BODY! I’ve had weird rashes in the past, I get cold sores a lot, I have chronic EBV. SO LIKE FOR REALS, LADY. Saying that it might never return is like laughing a the Gods. I don’t like this plan.

My left eye was almost swollen shut this morning, and the rash had spread to the other side of my nose and there was more on my left cheek. My mom picked up my meds for me, and I got started right away. Everything just closed in on me today. Not from this damn stupid rash, really. I’m just tired. I swing from one health crisis to another with barely any time in between to just feel like I have JUST Lyme. I’m not even in school right now, surrounded by close to 4, 000 people a day. Yet, I have a recurring Rash that my LLMD doesn’t really think is an issue. So yeah, the Meltdown City. In the shower. Me, myself, and I.

I think at the crux of all of this is the truth I am beginning to realize, or maybe now I am closer to accepting, is that the LLMD that has helped me thus far, is not going to be the doctor to take me into remission. Not from where I am right now, and not with how I am being treated (protocol). There are no other LLMDs here in the HOUSTON area. Seriously. It is too risky for doctors to advertise that they treat Lyme disease and many don’t. They do not have the first clue about Lyme disease. Truth. So, I continue to periodically request an LLMD list from the Texas Lyme Disease Association hoping that maybe a new name has been listed. And that the doctor listed takes insurance. Most do not.

This causes a whole other wave of worry to hit. Going to a doctor who does not take insurance means lots of money out of pocket. Depending on the doctor, it could run $700-$1500 per visit, not including meds, supplements, etc. LLMD doctors usually do not take insurance because they do not want to be beholden nor required to treat Lyme only by the approved and antiquated guidelines of the USA set by the Infectious Disease Society of America (IDSA). Many doctors across the US have been stripped of their license to practice for not following these corrupt guidelines. Of course though, insurance companies use these IDSA guidelines as standards for care and so even if one is LUCKY enough to find an LLMD who takes insurance, some things are not covered at all because the treatment doesn’t fall within the -again- corrupted and antiquated guidelines. 

But I have an LLMD that takes insurance and here close enough to where I live. I thought I was so lucky! And yes, she saved my life. I need more now though. My visits with her consist of about 10 minutes time. I list out everything, she focuses on the most detrimental at the time, reviews my blood work from the last visit, usually 3 months ago, and based on that she tells me where we are going, and sends me for blood work – labs we will review 3 months from now. WTH. There is no talking about nor treating any lingering symptoms, talking about detox, diet, anything really at all else about this complex stuff happening to me. Co-infections being addressed? Not at all. 

Finding someone new that I have to pay out of pocket, that is probably 3-5 hours away, is just freaking me out a bit. On top of all of that, I am worried about how much more I can work. I’ve pushed through and I want to work, but this past year has been extremely tough. I’ve been sick with other things more than not, and I am wondering, maybe I need to give my immune system more time to heal before I mix it up in the petri dish of high school. And since my LLMD only spends 10 minutes with me, I try to bring this up, but again, she also works crisis to crisis and that is just not cutting it anymore. Then, if I can’t work, how do I go see a doctor who doesn’t take insurance? How does all of this get managed when my eye is almost swollen shut, and I want to itch off the left side of my face? 

erupting-volcano-night-17297748Oiy. I just do not know. I’m trying to wrap my head around everything right now. I may have to visit Meltdown City a few more times before I get it all figured out.

I hope you and yours have a safe and wonderful 4th. Namaste, my peoples. – Belle

 

P.S. Maybe read some Declaration of Independence, eat a burger, drink a brew and maybe read a little taste of where I was last 4th of July – Fire in the Hole

 

Be Good to YOU

 

So we’ve (as in my husband and I – we are both teachers) been on summer break almost a month now. It has been pure heaven. What have I been doing? Producing? Well absolutely nothing, my dear friends. I’ve had some doctor appointments, dentist, eye doc, you know, just those things that have been impossible for me to manage while working because of the massive fatigue.

But otherwise? I have nothing to show. And how do I feel about this? Delightful!! Fantastic! Superb! It is down right, totally fine. I used to feel guilty about not doing anything, or not being productive every minute of the day. I was always busy. Now, at the time, I enjoyed being active, working, exercising, socializing, and such. But Lyme disease changed all of that.

Over the years (even before I knew I was ill), I’ve struggled with a lot of guilt and angst about not doing enough (these are, of course, self imposed standards of “enough”). I would push myself, as I always have, to make “things happen,” to “get er done” as we say in Texas. While resting, I would stress out about the things I had (self imposed!) to accomplish that I hadn’t completed. Then came along nausea, headaches, joint, pain, severe fatigue. Well, all of this made for a witch’s brew of toil and trouble!

Now, I admit, it has taken time to make this change and there are still times when I click into that previous me mode, and I take it to the limit. It’s usually not a good thing though and if I can catch myself before that manic phase kicks in, well everything is better overall. 

Looking back over my 15 years in education (I worked 10 years outside of education so I most definitely appreciate the time off), I realize that I have worked almost every summer for the first 10 years. First, out of necessity, and then, for the extra money and experiences. These past 3 summers of Lyme have been about treating and resting. Actually, the first summer after being diagnosed I taught a 3 week class. What was I thinking? At the time, I thought, oh good, extra money and this Lyme thing will probably be done by the end of this summer after treating for about 4 months at that point. HA HA!!! That was BEYOND wishful thinking for reals!

Anyway, I know this post is kinda all over the place, but I guess one point I am trying to make is Take it Easy. Don’t Kill Yourself trying to do everything you did before. Your body has to heal. You beating yourself up about it is certainly NOT GOING TO HELP your recovery process. Believe me, I learned this the hard way. 

keep-calm-and-be-good-to-yourself
Source: http://www.Keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk

 

 

What are some ways you treat yourself well? In what ways are you kind to yourself? Please add your ideas to the comments below. 🙂

Remember Please:

BE GOOD TO YOU!

Peace – B

Fatigue, I Hardly Knew Ye

I really never knew what “fatigue” was until I contracted Lyme disease. Honestly, I cannot even think of a useful metaphor to describe real life altering fatigue. I could say it feels like cement blocks are tied to your feet, but that truly only tells half the story. I could say it feels like you are stuck in quicksand and cannot move, but again, only a slice of the true experience. True fatigue cannot be explained easily to those who have never experienced it for any length of time. Maybe imagine if you will how you have felt at your MOST TIRED. Where you cannot even move. And then, try imagining experienceing this daily for months and even years. Fatigue encompasses everything: the physical, the mental, and the emotional. Not one aspect of being a human is left out from the fangs of fatigue.

tired-dog

 

I know what tired means, and I am sure you all do too. And sometimes, being tired is a good thing. It can mean that you had a productive and busy day. I remember when I was a kid, I would be tired from running around all over outside all day. Having dinner, a bath and then falling right to sleep conjures a happy memory. But fatigue? Real fatigue? I never knew ye before this. Now, I can pinpoint the ebbs and flows as accurately as a Richter scale.

Since before being diagnosed with Lyme in March 2013, I would suffer phases of fatigue. It was cyclical and so I attributed it, during those times, as just pushing myself too hard, taking on too many projects, doing too many activities. It would linger for a bit and then disappear. Gone are those care-free days. Not anymore. The fatigue has latched on and for the past few years, I have only really experienced varying degrees of fatigue. But it all boils down to the same thing: I’m too exhausted to do much of anything.

I completely understand that people who have not experienced severe fatigue struggle in trying to relate. I did as well in my Pre-Lyme life. But fatigue is not being tired. If I am tired, I sleep. I sleep and then feel rested and ready to go. With fatigue, not so fast. I can be soooo wiped out and yet. When I climb into bed, I may not be able to sleep. I go to bed tired and wake-up tired. During February, it was even worse. I could barely get up and go to work. Some days I just didn’t make it.

tired120

Never in my previous life had I spent a whole entire day in bed because I was “tired.” Now, that happens periodically. There have been several weekends this spring where I only manage to get out of bed to use the restroom and maybe to eat. Even eating can feel like an overwhelming burden sometimes. For a few weeks this past February, I would be so fatigued, I woulod actually feel sick to my stomach if i had to move around at all. Now that is some “sh*t just got real” stuff.

And yes, my doctors and I have run the gambit as far as making sure nothing else besides Lyme is causing this issue. Regularly, my doctors check my vitamin B and D levels. I give myself shots of B as well as Glutathione (helps the body make energy) on a weekly basis. I have cut almost all sugar out of my diet (not all but a lot!), I only drink one cup of coffee a day (usually!) and I steer away from caffeine the rest of the day. With help from medication, I can in fact sleep a solid 8 hours without waking up with joint pain during the night like I was doing before treatment.

Still. The fatigue hangs on. Being so tired makes it hard to concentrate, hard to be productive, hard to communicate. Sometimes, I just try to stay away from people because it is so exhausting. Sometimes, merely watching television is an overwhelming activity. Sometimes, I feel like I am looking from the outside in on myself and I wonder, WTH?

One story that is actually very helpful in communicating fatigue to “normal” people is the Spoon Theory written by Christine Miserandino @ www.butyoudontlooksick.com  This anecdote has helped me as well as some of my family and friends to understand in a relatable way.

Luckily, right now, I am on an upswing (if you will) as far as energy is concerned. Now, let’s not get crazy – this means that I can basically get through the day at work (a big deal!) and then rest in the evenings and on the weekends. I am not choosy; I will take whatever improvement I can get at this point.

I hope this post finds you healthy and happy, my friends. Until we meet again – Belle

 

 

 

Lyme Takes a Backseat

Hi there friends, it’s been a little while! These past few months have been a real challenge but I think I’m on the upswing at this point. Spring Break seemed to do a world of good for me overall. I was able to get out and do things with people, yes, REAL people, and that made for a great time. I was able to push Lyme to the back burner for a bit. It was much needed nourishment for mind and soul.

So what did I get to do during our break from academia? Funny you should ask! I made a trip to the south of here to one of what I consider to be my hometown on the Texas Gulf Coast. One of my dearest friends was back home (Texas) from Seattle visiting her family , so I traveled a few hours from here to go and spend some time with her and her family as well as with one of my brothers and his family. I was a little worried about the trip; I had been having severe fatigue for weeks before this. I was able to stay a few days, and it was great fun. Mostly, I hung out with my pal, MM, and her son, and her extended family, all of whom I have known for more than 20 years. We played games, talked, sat outside (the weather in fact was very much perfect and no mosquitos!), and ate yummy food. I also got to spend time with my brother and his family. It wasn’t a long trip, but it was well worth it.

Mid-week of break I was at home doing a few much neglected chores. You know the ones. Dusting, organizing, etc. And I was able to rest when I needed to so this made it possible for me to complete some things I just couldn’t and can’t do while working. For the most part, the weather was pretty nice! Sometimes, during Spring Break, it rains all week, but this year, the weather was perfecto. Also, our almost-baseball-team of pups received baths, nail trimmings, and haircuts!

Then there was a last minute, week end trip to the ranch of my pal MM’s brother. We all met up, her family and me and my Better Half (BH), out in the country, and I mean country as in no cell service. It was totally awesome. There were about 14 of us, kids and adults, and lots of shenanigans. Some activities included, skeet shooting, trampolining, adult beverage drinking, drone flying, and skunk hunting. And one mean game of Cards Against Humanity! All in all it was definitely an adventurous trip.

holcomb_ranch_house
South Texas Ranch

Honestly, I think I did more socially during this break than I had the previous 3 months combined. Did I get tired out? Yep, sure did. But it certainly did my heart good to be able to do some things and be with people I love. Luckily, not many of my symptoms reared their ugly heads during too much of the break. Mostly, I savored each moment and gave thanks for everything I was able to do and for all of the amazing people in my life. *cue nostalgic music

I hope this finds you well and happy. Peace to you and yours -B

 

Just Because You Said It….

Doesn’t make it so! Over the past few months, this is what I wanted to say several times to a doctor I decided to “try” out.

After testing CDC positive for Lyme disease again in February, even with 3 years of treatment under my belt, I won’t lie. I was feeling really lost as far as how to progress with a treatment plan. My LLMD put me on a Z pack for 5 days and that was it. I am sure he did not want to throw me back onto antibiotics if at all possible. But still. I was really not feeling confident in what path we would take at this point in the game.

tumblr_inline_mskfoejzrf1qz4rgp

A friend of mine had recently visited a local rheumatologist. I reviewed the doctor’s website, and it actually advertises that she treats for Lyme disease. Oh, the awesome feeling I had! Most doctors know nothing about Lyme and about nil advertise Lyme on their website. Yes, to say the least, I got my hopes up. The further to fall, some would say.

And lo and behold, she knew nothing about Lyme. She prescribed me Lyrica for my fibromylgia pain on my first visit to her, without any labwork, without checking other diagnostic criteria I expected. She ordered about 15 vials of blood taken to test for other auto-immune diseases. When I told her I had been treating Lyme, she actually asked me if I had been bitten by a tick. Seriously!?! In almost the same breath, she told me that there should have been no reason for my being put on antibiotics for so long. I felt the pit in my stomach growing. I told her about  the severe fatigue I was experiencing. I brought her the bloodwork showing my CDC positive results.

images

Honestly, I don’t think she even looked at the lab report. I did a follow-up visit but it was more of the same. Although I was glad to know that I did not test positive for any other issues, she did not help me at all. I am not taking the Lyrica; I have decided, thanks to my 2 other doctors who do know about Lyme disease, to pursue a more natural approach to treatment.

I guess I knew that it was too good to be true that this doctor I tried out really would know Lyme. While this was disappointment, it wasn’t necessarily unexpected. However, what was somewhat unsettling is how quickly she was willing to put me on medication. Not antibiotics mind you, but the Lyrica. For  my severe fatigue, she told me to drink more caffeine. I suggested this would not be good for my adrenals and she stated that my adrenals are probably shot anyway so it wouldn’t make a difference. I was shocked. This was the last straw.

Lesson learned? This whole incident did emphasize that my 2 LLMDs know what they are doing, at least for me personally.

I hope you had a great weekend. I’m back at it; fighting the good fight. Peace – B

WTH?

Sorry for the radio silence. I’ve had about 3 weeks of severe fatigue. When I haven’t been working (or haven’t been able to work), I’ve been mostly in bed or at doctor appointments. Yesterday and today were the best days I’ve experienced in more than a month. So this is short and sweet. I promise to do a real post very soon. Thanks for sticking around. I’m hoping all is well in your world.

Be good.  – B

image