Please let me sleep……

It’s late, but Happy New Year, ya’ll! I really do hope your holiday season was fun and safe.

Well, back in December, I said that this fall semester at work had been very stressful. We came back in to school in August, both F2F and online, to call it a challenge is an understatement. Anyway, I made it through fall semester, and I thought, Awesome! No serious issues!

Yeah, NO. Over the winter break, I started having severe insomnia (again). This is a symptom I have dealt with the last 8 years related to Lyme, Fibro and CFS. It fluctuates, and it hadn’t been horrible for awhile. But it reared it’s ugly head, loud and clear! I also started having anxiety. I couldn’t relax at all. And yet, I was also fatigued.

Of course, it spiraled. The no sleep, anxiety, fatigue plagued me as we came back in January and plagues me still. I’ve had to trim my work schedule. Luckily, my work is understanding; otherwise, I would have to take a medical leave. I still may have to do this.

I’ve gone to my LLMD, my gyno, my other LLMD. Truly, I am trying to get things figured out. Because of my age, hormones are changing so that is some of it. But, I also have EBV active again, and obviously I’m dealing with both a Fibro and CFS flare right now.

I’ve started some antiviral drops and a hormone cream as of yesterday. I REALLY hope something helps me. I am not sure how much longer I can make it limping along this way. It’s starting to get to me in so many ways.

Do you have any recommendations on dealing with insomnia? If so, please drop a comment below.

I hope you and yours are doing well. Until next time, be well. – Belle

Summer 2019

Here’s what I’ve been up to: not much!

When summer started, I needed a couple of weeks to decompress. I was wiped out completely by the very last day of work – teacher workday. My brain was not working well at all, and I was having some medium to severe lower back pain and right hip pain. As I walked out of our campus doors on May 31st, I wasn’t sure what the summer would hold for me healthwise.

I had 2 goals for this summer: get off of the sleep meds I’ve been taking for several years and to try and add some exercise to my daily routine. I stopped taking the sleep medication immediately. I’m not going to lie, it was really tough the first week or so. I would go to sleep and then I would keep waking up almost every half hour to hour most of the night. I almost caved in before things started looking up.

My sleep had not been improving on the sleep medication this spring at all. In fact, insomnia is now one of the lingering symptoms I am dealing with as far as the chronic Lyme is concerned. I spoke to my in-town doctor about this at my June visit, but remember, she takes insurance and if I am lucky, I get about 8-10 minutes with her. It is impossible to discuss much in that short of a time frame. And at this appointment, I wanted to focus on the deep hip pain I’ve been having since February so that was the topic of our brief visit. Let’s just say she didn’t help me with that either and leave it at that.

I really wanted to use the summer to try and get a regular, good sleep pattern back if at all possible. So I endured. I haven’t taken a Lunesta since June 1st. I do take time released melatonin and Valerian Root before bed and a supplement of DIM my out-of-town doctor suggested. I’m not saying I haven’t had some tough nights. I have. But overall, I’ve been pretty happy with the results of stopping the medication. While I still wake up a few times every night, I’m able to get back to sleep most of the time.

I’m sincerely not sure what I will do if, once back at work, I can’t sleep well. Not sleeping well for weeks and/or months at a time is just so horrible for me on so many levels (for anyone really!), that I will probably have to go back to Lunesta or ask my doctor for a different sleep med if that happens. I won’t make it if I can’t sleep. I am sincerely keeping my fingers crossed that I can maintain my sleep naturally!

My other goal this summer was to add a bit of exercise if possible. Before Lyme, I liked to walk 2 miles a day and do yoga. I always had a strong energy level so I could do these before school or after school. But these past 6 years, I just have not had the energy to do anything. Even just working has been a serious challenge for me. When summer started, I added 30 minutes 5xs a week on the elliptical machine I’ve had sitting around for years LOL. Oh dear God, the first 2 weeks were not fun, my friends. Wow. I knew I was out of shape but DAMN! But I have been able to continue this workout 5xs a week all summer! I am so happy about this! I want to be optimistic and say that yes, I will continue once I head back to work August 12th, but I just don’t know. I need to be realistic. Look, I am going to try. That’s all I can do.

To be honest, I haven’t done a lot this summer. We went to the river 3-4 times this summer which is always great but otherwise, I just did some cleaning at home and enjoyed the time off. Oh, plus a few doctor visits! My hip has been killing me so I am trying to figure that out. That’s for another post though.

I hope you and yours are having a good summer! Take care – B

Image by Ursula Bodnar from Pixabay