“It’s A Scandal” -Daryl Hall on Doctors Denying Chronic Lyme – http://wp.me/pFTo7-XA
Hola, peoples. Summer break is in full swing, and I am very glad to report that I have “survived” another school year. BTW, surviving is only related to my health and by no means implies that I do not love my work because, I do love my work! Yes, there were many, many bumps in the road health-wise, but with tons of support from family, friends, and my colleagues and students, I have made it to a 4th summer break post-Lyme diagnosis! Woo hoo!
Just a few weeks ago, I finally found the time and the wherewithal to submit an official complaint to the state medical board about the infectious disease doctor who saw me in January 2013. This doctor was completely terrible. I debated whether or not to file a complaint, I am not one to rock the boat, but after many in my Lyme support group continued to discuss the importance of bringing the issues with Lyme, the diagnosis, the care needed, to the state medical board, I decided that I needed to do so. Sending to him was the last resort of my GP who had been trying to treat me for 3 years of unexplained symptoms. While I am quite positive that my complaint will not even warrant an “investigation,” I am told that at the very least, it gets recorded, thus, it can be helpful in the long run for the continued fight for awareness of Lyme disease.
As advocates, we have to start somewhere. I debated about submitting a complaint. But, several of the members of the group are also very active in attending the state medical board meetings, in particular to communicate about Lyme disease and lack of diagnosis and treatment options during the open forum portion of the meetings. Right now, I am unable to attend for a variety of reasons, but I really do hope that some day soon, I can be a much more active participant in pushing for much more Lyme Disease Awareness in Texas.
Too many people are being lost to the monster that is Lyme.
Update: TMB reviewed my complaint and sent me a letter stating that my complaint did not “warrant an investigation” because the infectious disease doctor was following guidelines (looking for the bull’s eye rash – only found in 30-50% of patients). I did not have the rash. I just had new daily headaches, lower back pain, nausea, severe fatigue, joint pain, cognitive issues and severe neck pain. And, I had had these symptoms for over 3 years off and on and that is exactly why my GP sent me to and ID doctor. She was stumped and had tested me for as many other things as she could to rule out other diseases. The ID doctor told me to drink more water and carry my purse on the opposite side. THIS DOCTOR DID NOT HELP ME AT ALL. He sent me back to my GP.
I guess I am a lucky one of the up to 50% that do not present with a rash that the Lyme infection was caught. Otherwise, where would I be? Way worse, and literally dying to find the correct diagnosis.
Although I had already started this blog before I took the step to submit the complaint, I do feel like I have taken the first step in the right direction – the direction of real Advocacy.
There are SO many of us not getting diagnosed correctly, SO many of us who end up with Chronic Lyme, SO many of us not receiving treatment. It is wrong, and it is time for me to SPEAK UP MUCH LOUDER!!
I want to send out a huge thank you to LymeStats for permission to use its AWESOME informative posters!! Visit the website today if you can!!
Do you do any advocacy work? I would love to hear about it! I hope you and your people are having a wonderful weekend. Please make sure to do tick checks. Be safe – Belle
Why Lyme Disease is Related to Arthritis – http://wp.me/p6WnAe-rj
Making a date
So here we are, a Thursday afternoon. Another day of rain. Another day of school closure. Yes, you are correct. We live in the Houston area. Our little own piece of paradise or the “mud pit” as my HB calls it is located outside of the metro area and just west enough to avoid the horrible and devastating flooding that has been happening.
With all of that in mind, my own small world is truly not of any concern nor should it be.
And yet, I will share. Yesterday, one of my friends, let’s refer to her as WF, texted and invited us to meet her and her husband for dinner. My HB was gone to get groceries and run errands so we instead decided this evening would work better. OK. Cool.
Except that, and I know this very well, often, because of my symptoms, we have to cancel plans. My friends know this as well. The day started with my stomach in turmoil. Headache. It rained for several hours this morning. Joy. I took anti-nausea meds and lay back down for a few hours. Back up about 2 p.m. I went outside with the dogs and got a bit of fresh air. Back inside to do laundry, mopping, and such well, you know, “mud pit.” I consumed a few crackers with almond butter. Then, the nausea returned. The bandage is to take the meds…and I have been doing this now for a few months. Instead, I drank some alka-selzer gold – no aspirin – which can help a bit.
Still no relief. The only way to describe what it is like to a non-lymie is it feels like the flu. Headache accompanied by a nauseated tummy with a possible side of indigestion. Lots of fun. A perfect situation to go out to eat at a restaurant. Yeah, not so much.
The conclusion? We had to cancel. My HB kept asking me if I just wanted to go and have drinks, if I wanted to go without him. I know he meant well, but feeling bad is feeling bad. In fact, he’s cooking up some vegetables right now and the smell is making me nauseated. Please don’t tell him.
Anyway, to make this long story longer, when I told my HB that I was feeling yucky and that I couldn’t make it, he said, “Really, you just shouldn’t make any plans. You always cancel.” Wow. OK. Yes, there is a lot of truth in this statement. And honestly recognizing that truth is what grabbed and twisted my heart. I could only reply, “You are right.”
Still. While I do know that breaking plans is disappointing not just for me but for everyone involved, I just shouldn’t do it at all? Then what? I can barely keep up socially at all with my friends and family. I miss more functions than I can attend, that’s for sure. But, I don’t know. Anyway, I’m back in bed now, trying desperately not to be bummed out about it all but it’s pretty much not working.
I short change everyone in my life. I realize that yes, I am sick, but disappointing so many other people surely has taken its toll on me as a person. I feel less than. Not all of the time but definitely right now. My friends were gracious as always about our cancellation. But for me? My heart still feels twisted up.
Be good and safe, my people. -B
Well, my people, it is Sunday afternoon. I’m really happy I survived this past week. I hope all of you did too. I am feeling much better today. Thank you all for your support. Today, I was pretty productive if I do say so myself! After a week of being too sick to do anything besides lay in bed, I was up and fairly active today. And no nausea! Which makes this day even better. Since I was way behind on grading, I told myself that if I could knock that out, I could come and write here. It was a great incentive!
I’ve been thinking a lot about this blog, and its focus. Yes, the focus is on Lyme disease and more specifically, my own personal experiences with treating and living with this disease. Over this past month, I have run into some people on social media and people in in my day to day life who also deal with a chronic illness and that, for the most part, has been a wonderful way to connect. However, it has also made me reflect on my decision to begin telling others about my illness. Coming out of the closet, so to speak, about having Chronic Lyme disease.
When I was first diagnosed with Lyme disease, I told my immediate family and my boss. In the beginning, while I knew I would have to treat for awhile since I had been sick off and on for about 3 years before the diagnosis, I had no idea that this might be a chronic illness for me. And, as I was so very sick back in 2013 when I found out finally what was going on, I thought it only prudent and honest to explain what was going on to my boss. The support was overwhelming. I also shared with a few colleagues who are dear to me. Otherwise, no one else knew, and I was happy to keep it that way. In my head, I felt that telling other people was a burden to them. It almost felt like by telling them, I was making excuses about why I couldn’t keep doing everything I had been doing. Being sick, to me, was a sign of weakness. Not that I thought that about other people. That only applied to me. Always the perfectionist, I am way harder on myself then on others (although I am sure my students would beg to differ!).
This strategy, the one of silence and limited sharing about my health, worked for a bit. Well, almost 2 years. And while I did make progress in treatment, I just could not continue with all of the responsibilities I had at work. I was in a leadership position and a club sponsor. These along with teaching 5 upper level junior/senior classes every day. I just had to make changes and move some things off of my plate so I could focus on improving my quality of life. This treatment thing was taking much more time than I had anticipated. Making the decision to no longer sponsor the club I had started back in 2008 and then also stepping down as a leader, these were tough, tough decisions. I struggled with feeling less than, incompetent, weak…oh, the list goes on. Reorganizing my priorities was a challenge. But I knew that I did not want to end up sacrificing my work by becoming more ill or vice versa. Something had to give.
Taking the bull by the horns, I relieved myself as club sponsor and my leadership position at the end of last school year. But in order to do this, more people were going to have to know the reasons why I was making this decision. Uncomfortable to say the very least, at least for me. I’m not big on sharing private things unless it is with close friends. In order to move on though, I did indeed share the basics about my health issues with my colleagues and my boss. I am chronically ill at this point, I have good times and then I have some really bad times, such as this past week, and I cannot make it to work. Communicating with others what was/is happening to me has become a huge relief.
Looking back, I honestly can say that I wish I had done so earlier on. Being more open and honest about my health has actually led to some great conversations with others. It has humbled me in ways I never knew. The kindness and understanding people have is truly amazing. Do I still have days where I feel like a burden? I sure do. But opening up has been a truly important step for my recovery, I believe. Thank you all for joining me on this journey!
Have a great week! -b